


Hate Me, Bruise Me

by klondsbie



Category: NINE PERCENT (Band), 偶像练习生 | Idol Producer (TV)
Genre: Attempted Sexual Assault, Bruises, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff and Angst, Jealousy, Light Angst, Light Dom/sub, Love Triangles, M/M, Mild Kink, Mild Sexual Content, Possessive Behavior, Scar, bottom zhangjing, mild obsession, probably, probably no smut, yanjun is weird and kinda a jerk lol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-26
Updated: 2019-05-10
Packaged: 2019-06-16 16:05:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 27,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15440679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/klondsbie/pseuds/klondsbie
Summary: Lin Yanjun, the mysterious school bad boy, only ever shows up for class if You Zhangjing is there too. You Zhangjing can't get Lin Yanjun out of his mind. It was as if Lin Yanjun didn't care that Zhangjing had college applications to focus on.Actually, Zhangjing comes to realize that Yanjun doesn't care about a lot of things. And he takes what he wants, even if what he wants is a person. Specifically, You Zhangjing.But You Zhangjing can't help falling for that part about Yanjun, too.classic high school/bad boy story bc i needed it in my life. i gave yanjun a scar bc scars are hot. source: zuko





	1. lyj

**Author's Note:**

> ages:  
> zhangjing: senior  
> zhengting: senior  
> xukun: junior  
> linong: sophomore  
> justin: freshman  
> chengcheng: sophomore  
> yanjun: junior  
> linkai: sophomore  
> ziyi: junior
> 
> explanation that no one asked for: in my school ap chem was a class that mostly juniors took as their second science, but i took it my senior year bc i took psychology instead my junior year. but i also had a sophomore friend in my class bc she took chem 1 over the summer and that's how i justify having three different years of students in a challenging class together
> 
> note number two that no one cares about: if u speak chinese you prob already know why linong's username is nongnongsoup bc its like nong tang like 玉米濃湯 hahaha im so funny hahaha

“Literally eat my asshole.”

“Oh my god Justin, at least take your biology report out on a date first.”

“Please, Chengcheng, Justin,” Zhangjing groaned, rubbing his temples without even looking up from his laptop screen, “I literally don’t know why I hang out with you two. I need to focus on writing this dumb essay.”

Writing a good common app essay was hard. High school was hard. Everything was hard, really. Zhangjing was already draining what was left of his bank account to send out these applications, and if he didn’t get a full scholarship anywhere…

 _In that case, I guess I’m just not going to college,_ Zhangjing thought to himself with a sigh, trying to block out Justin and Chengcheng’s bickering.

They were lucky—rich kids with even richer extended families. They didn’t have to worry about their grades, or getting a job, or paying for college. Zhangjing was insanely jealous of those things.

But with a good essay, good extra curriculars, and good test scores, Zhangjing was sure he could manage. So here he was. Trying to write a good essay about his good extra curriculars before school started. He had good friends, too—Justin and Chengcheng went in early every morning just to keep Zhangjing company, sitting in the cafeteria.

“Zhangjing, help. My lab report is eating my asshole.”

It just wasn’t always _good_ company.

“That’s because you told it to eat your asshole, Justin,” Chengcheng reasoned, folding his hands as he looked at the freshman from across the table.

“It’s hard!” Justin cried out, slumping over onto the lunch table, face planting into his laptop keyboard.

“Zhangjing, just help! You’ve been editing your dumb essay since late June,” Chengcheng said.

Zhangjing snorted, raising his eyebrows at the sophomore besides him. “You think I can help him with biology? I hardly survived my freshman year because of that class.”

“Yeah, if only your perfect amazing lab partner Wang Ziyi were here to save us,” Justin chided, making a kissy face at Zhangjing. The younger only flinched back a little when Zhangjing raised a hand to slap his stupid face.

Justin was only a _little_ right. Zhangjing had all A’s except for Chemistry, which Zhangjing wouldn’t even have a B in if it weren’t for Ziyi’s help. Why the junior always offered to be Zhangjing’s lab partner, Zhangjing had no idea. But he was forever grateful.

He wasn’t so grateful for him today, though. How dare Ziyi go on a college visit today, on the same day they needed to complete a chem lab. How dare he.

“Ugh,” Zhangjing groaned, glaring at the clock on the bottom right corner of his screen, “Why is it already time for homeroom? I hate everything.”

“Except for Wang Ziyi because otherwise you’d fail science class so hard,” Justin snickered, breaking out into a laugh when Zhangjing glared back.

“You’re the one that asked me to help you with your biology report. Be consistent,” Zhangjing replied, shutting his laptop delicately and slowly placing it into his bookbag. “You guys should go, too.”

“There’s five minutes left. Not all of us are old and walk at three feet per minute!” Justin’s volume increased as he progressed, as Zhangjing had booked it out of there to avoid even more verbal abuse.

“We love you!” he heard Chengcheng yell after him as Zhangjing exited the cafeteria. Zhangjing turned to make a face at them, even if they couldn’t see him anymore, continuing to walk down the hallway.

Until Zhangjing collided with (what felt like) another human being.

Zhangjing yelped on the impact, stumbling backwards and falling right on his ass. On instinct, Zhangjing’s hands reached around behind him to grab at his backpack, protecting it from the fall that already happened.

Normally, Zhangjing would have been scrambling to check if his things were okay and getting up in embarrassment, apologizing and then booking it to homeroom but—holy _shit_ Zhangjing’s eyes were a little distracted.

Zhangjing had always read about characters being described as _dark figures_ in books, but he always thought it was some stupid description. But this boy who stood before him was _dark._

Dark and intense eyes, dark circles under his eyes, dark black hair. Faded leather jacket and dark black jeans. There was some hazy, cold aura surrounding him that prevented Zhangjing from looking away from his eyes.

All these features combined distracted Zhangjing from his massive scar.

His left eye interrupted the scar that ran sideways from right about his left eyebrow down to his right cheek. The scar itself was a lighter color than his tan skin, like a flash of lightening striking across a cloudy sky at dusk.

“I uh,” Zhangjing said awkwardly, tearing his eyes away from the scar. The stranger just radiated intimidation. “I’m sorry, I totally didn’t see you. I’m okay, which I know you didn’t ask about, but sorry anyways—”

The other was the one to finally break the eye contact, glancing away. He pushed his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket before walking away, continuing down the hall.

The stranger just walked right past him while staring passionately into his eyes for thirty seconds straight, leaving Zhangjing sitting on the floor. Quite frankly, Zhangjing felt violated.

“Bye, I guess,” Zhangjing mumbled quietly to himself, getting up to his feet weakly.

 

\--

 

Zhangjing recovered from the incident in homeroom. He shut his laptop screen after he had made sure that everything was intact and working after the collision, head still swimming with thoughts of the _dark_ boy.

“You Zhangjing, earth to You Zhangjing.”

Zhangjing turned his head to look at Zhengting, sitting in his desk with his feet kicked up on the seat of the desk in front of him. The brunette smiled at him, tilting his head. “You look like you’re in a daze. You hardly said hi to me when I sat down.”

“I… I don’t think I even noticed you,” Zhangjing said honestly. _Seriously, what is wrong with me_? He thought to himself incredulously. Why the hell was Zhangjing caught up something so small and stupid?

Maybe it was because of how unexpected every part of that boy was.

Maybe it was how attractive, how _incredibly_ attractive he was.

Maybe it was because for the past ten minutes Zhangjing was trying to figure out the scent of his cologne that he had caught hold of as the dark boy walked by him, like a mix of vanilla and musk, which _totally_ contradicted his totally dark vibe—

“Zhangjing, are you even alive today?” came Zhengting’s voice again to shake him from his thoughts.

“I’m sorry…!” Zhangjing responded weakly, slumping back into his seat and sliding down a little, “I just ran into… a problem earlier so I’m a little caught up.”

“Zhangjing,” Zhengting said, swinging his legs around to the side of his seat and sitting sideways, leaning forward closer to Zhangjing, “If this is about college tuition again, I promise you that you are _fine._ Worst comes to worst, a community—”

“—community college will accept me and give me full tuition, _more than one_ ,” Zhangjing completed robotically, having heard the other senior go off about this many times before. Zhengting smiled in response, Zhangjing offering a little smile of his own.

Zhengting was right. Even when Zhangjing lied to one of his best friends about what was on his mind, Zhengting was right anyways: Zhangjing _should_ be thinking about college. But instead, Zhangjing was spending _so_ much time thinking about a _boy._

Boys were not on the list of things Zhangjing had time for. He only had time for college applications, and after those were done, _maybe_ he could think about adding boys to his schedule.

Zhengting continued his little speech on how Zhangjing was stressing too much over applications as they walked to chemistry together for first block. Zhangjing wasn’t really listening until one specific part.

“I mean, at least _you_ care, Zhangjing. Some people don’t even care enough to come to class! At the new junior kid,” Zhengting commented, drawing a little _at_ sign in the air.

“New boy?!” Zhangjing asked, his eyes widening at once as he spun his head up to look at Zhengting. The taller raised an eyebrow at him.

“Why are you so shocked? The new junior, you know, the one with the scar on his face and also the one who hasn’t gone to literally a single class yet even though he’s been here since Monday? That’s what I heard from Xukun, anyways,” Zhengting responded, pushing his thin-wire frame glasses further up his nose.

“… Of course Xukun would know,” Zhangjing responded slowly, still choosing to keep this morning’s events to himself. “That junior class president is creepily alert.”

“Okay but forreal? I would drop down to be a junior just to get a look at this new kid. Juniors say they’ve only seen him in the halls before he skips, but from what I heard he’s _hotttt._ ”

Zhengting made a _tsss_ noise as they walked into the chemistry lab, making the shorter boy roll his eyes as he sank into his desk next to Linong.

“What did he do this time?” Linong asked, his smile already meeting his eyes.

Zhengting’s smile widened, pushing Linong’s shoulder playfully as he sat down behind the sophomore. “I’m not allowed to comment on the new boy’s appearances, apparently.”

“Oh, him! You wouldn’t believe it,” Linong said, his voice dropping as his eyes suddenly widened, looking back and forth between Zhangjing and Zhengting. “That new kid, Lin Yanjun? He’s supposed to be in _this_ class, too!”

“What?!” Zhangjing and Zhengting said in unison, so luckily Zhangjing’s suddenly peaked interest wasn’t too obvious.

“I mean, I guess we can’t be so surprised, he _is_ a junior and AP Chem is supposed to be full of mostly juniors,” Linong reasoned.

“Unless you’re a nerd and you take Chem 1 over the summer to take AP Chem your sophomore year,” Zhengting commented, shooting Linong a charming, chiding smile. Linong smiled sheepishly.

“Uh, yeah. _Advanced Placement Chemistry._ What’s this new kid Lin Yanjun doing in an AP course if he won’t even come to class?” Zhangjing asked.

Before Linong or Zhengting could offer their conspiracies, the bell rang, marking the start of the period. Mr. Tsai stood up to get the projector running, and the conversation ended there. So Zhangjing thought.

Mr. Tsai was having some issues getting the projector started, and being a quiet class, most everyone either sat silently or talked quietly among their friends. Zhangjing was doing the former before he noticed Linong and Zhengting looking towards the back of the classroom.

And then Linong spoke up. “Oh my god, there’s the new kid.”

Zhangjing spun his head around to look. And sure enough, there he was. Leather jacket and ripped jeans, messy hair and dark bags under his eyes. Yanjun’s eyes flickered over to meet Zhangjing’s gaze, the senior quickly spinning his head back around to look back at Linong.

His heart had done a lurch in his chest, the senior gritting his teeth at the response. _Stop._ Zhangjing demanded in his head. _I don’t care anymore. I don’t care._

“Why is he here? Doesn’t he skip class?” Zhangjing whispered to Linong, “How didn’t we see him?”

“Zhengting pointed him out to me. He must have used the back door to come in after class started… And I don’t know why he’s here.” Linong paused before continuing quietly, “But the rumors really are true… That’s a big scar,” Linong responded quietly.

Oh right, the scar. Zhangjing had basically looked right past that while face to face with him. His presence was just so incredibly overwhelming; the scar merely added onto that. Zhengting seemed to agree; he would quietly, cautiously look back towards Yanjun every thirty seconds or so. Zhengting usually _never_ had problems with staring attractive people down.

“How do you think he got it?” Zhangjing asked curiously, “An accident, or a fight, or…?”

Linong shrugged, glancing up as the teacher finally got the projector to work, officially about to start class. “I don’t know. But let’s not talk about it, it’s not in good taste.”

Throughout the entire introduction of the class, Zhangjing’s mind was still elsewhere. Elsewhere being cold eyes and the smell of musk and vanilla. He was so out of it that Zhangjing had failed to notice that Mr. Tsai had never introduced their new student to the class, or even mentioned him at all.

Maybe that was why Zhangjing had jumped when everyone suddenly got out of their seats and moved to the lab benches. Prior to the sudden movements, Zhangjing had no reason to pay attention.

This lack of paying attention also brought upon the abrupt realization that without Ziyi, Zhangjing was left with no partner. However, with a new student, the class should still be at an even number.

Zhangjing’s eyes widened immediately.

_That means—_

Zhangjing’s chair suddenly skidded forward just an inch, still causing Zhangjing to jump in his seat in surprise as he spun around.

He tilted his head up to see Lin Yanjun towering above him, and Zhangjing realized that Yanjun had _kicked his chair_ to get the older’s attention.

And suddenly, Zhangjing had no need to convince himself to stop being so _whipped_ over this boy.

_Because he’s a little asshole._

“We’re partners. Weren’t you listening?” Yanjun asked. When Zhangjing didn’t respond, still trying to formulate some response, Yanjun just turned around and headed towards the back left corner of the classroom, where Zhangjing always worked with Ziyi.

The idea that Yanjun felt entitled enough to go over and _kick_ Zhangjing’s chair just because Zhangjing didn’t get up right away more than slightly irked him, and more than slightly turned Zhangjing off on the kid, but whatever. So he got up and followed Lin Yanjun to their lab table where the younger boy was already seated.

Zhangjing also completed ignored the looks that he knew he was getting from Linong and Zhengting as he walked over. He did not need that right now.

“You didn’t have to kick my chair,” Zhangjing said as soon as he sat down next to him. Yanjun didn’t say anything, and Zhangjing didn’t expect him to, so it’s not like the lack of response was an obstacle.

“I’m just a bit distracted. Ziyi is usually my partner and I’m lost without him so... sorry for the bad grade we’re about to get,” Zhangjing continued, pulling out the lab sheet. The procedure was covered in notes and highlighter, his pre-lab immaculate as always.

Yanjun still didn’t say anything. When Zhangjing actually had the guts to look over at him, he was actually staring out the window, clearly not even paying attention with his chin rested on his hand.

Zhangjing wanted to ask why Yanjun kicked his chair if he wasn’t even going to help, but the senior just didn’t bother. It was no use.

“I’ll get started,” Zhangjing announced. He was basically just talking to himself, but he did that on a regular basis anyways. “Okay, so we need our materials...”

About half of the materials needed for the lab were on Yanjun’s side of the lab bench. Zhangjing was not about to ask Yanjun to open a drawer to get out a six hundred milliliter beaker, but he’d figure that out in just a second.

“I’ll go to the front of the room to get all the metal samples, first,” Zhangjing said, and Yanjun didn’t even turn his head to look at him as he spoke. Zhangjing just huffed, moving off his stool and walking towards the front of the room, materials sheet in hand.

When Zhangjing came back when a plastic tray full of the strips of metal, he literally stopped in confusion. Yanjun seemed to not have moved at all, yet the lab counter that had been empty three minutes prior was now full with lab equipment. With a quick glance over the materials on the counter and materials listed, everything was right, right down to the glass stirrers.

“... Thank you. For getting the materials out,” Zhangjing smiled, setting down the little tray as he got back onto his stool, “I’m actually a little less stressed now, which I didn’t know was possible.”

Yanjun’s gaze flickered over just for a second to meet Zhangjing’s, his eyes glancing down at his wide smile. And then he looked away again, but honestly, Zhangjing wasn’t even annoyed anymore. Obviously, he was of _some_ help.

“Okay! Let’s get started,” Zhangjing announced, “Step one, set up the voltaic cell as shown in the— oh wait you aren’t wearing your goggles.”

Zhangjing stopped mid-sentence in realization. That was one hundred percent against the rules. But Yanjun just kept looking straight ahead as if he hadn’t even heard Zhangjing.

So the senior grabbed the goggles that were still resting besides Yanjun’s elbow, holding them up for him and even shaking them a little for good measure.

“C’mon, it’s the rules,” Zhangjing insisted, quietly pleading in his mind for Yanjun to just _wear the freaking goggles_.

Yanjun glanced at the goggles, then at Zhangjing, then back towards the front of the room.

So he was going to get out all the lab equipment, but then he was also going to sit there like a jerk and ignore Zhangjing?

 _That_ got Zhangjing annoyed again. So he shook them harder, closer to his face this time.

“I won’t tell the teacher you didn’t wear the apron, but I’m worried for your eyes,” Zhangjing continued. And at some point, shaking around a pair of neon orange plastic goggles in someone’s face just felt stupid.

So, for some reason, Zhangjing decided it’d be a good idea to just _put them on._ For him.

Zhangjing leaned over, huffing out, “If you’re not going to put them on your head, then I will—”

In a second, Yanjun shot his hand up and grabbed Zhangjing’s wrist. The goggles fell to the floor, Zhangjing having dropped them in pure shock.

Without even realizing it, Zhangjing let out a quiet yelp, eyes widening from actual fear. Yanjun’s eyes bored into Zhangjing’s for what felt like an eternity, grip tight around Zhangjing’s wrist.

It took maybe five seconds for Zhangjing to come to his senses, yanking his wrist out of the younger boy’s grip. What freaked him out even more was that Yanjun was clearly just letting him. Zhangjing felt like Yanjun could throw him across the classroom if he wanted to.

Zhangjing didn’t say a single word to Yanjun for the remainder of the block. The junior stayed unproductive, which was whatever. _Doing_ the lab wasn’t the problem. Analyzing results and typing up a lab report is what gave him an anxiety rush.

But Zhangjing wasn’t about to test Yanjun again. He just couldn’t get out of his head how _weird_ that was.

What was even weirder was how Zhangjing’s heart had yet to stop pounding ridiculously hard against his chest. Lin Yanjun may be a jerk, but holy _shit_ he was the still most attractive person Zhangjing had ever seen in his entire life.

The bell rang, and Zhangjing was just about done cleaning, hanging the test tubes on a rack to dry. Zhangjing noticed that Yanjun didn’t have a book bag, and he kind of just walked out of class without even looking back at Zhangjing.

 _Weird,_ Zhangjing thought. _He’s so weird._

Zhangjing finished up so late that even Linong and Zhengting had left for their own classes. And even while Zhangjing was _booking_ it to second block, all he could think about was Lin Yanjun.

And it was getting kind of irritating.

 

\--

 

“I can’t believe you were partners with Lin Yanjun! He was a big help, huh?” Linong chided as he met with Zhangjing at his locker after second block, the shorter boy grabbing his money and shutting the metal locker door shut.

Zhangjing rolled his eyes as they began to walk, the pair of them heading off to lunch. He knew that that would be the first thing Linong want to talk about.

“He got the lab equipment out,” Zhangjing credited. There was no way Linong saw Yanjun grab his wrist, then, Zhangjing concluded in his head. Otherwise it definitely would have been the topic of this conversation.

Linong laughed, his smile freezing on his face when he looked down at Zhangjing. “Oh you’re serious,” Linong said in surprise.

“He did! He didn’t do anything else but I think he at least tries,” Zhangjing theorized, licking his bottom lip as soon as they stepped into the cafeteria. The nacho bar was screaming his name today.

To be honest, Zhangjing’s mild fear (and mild annoyance) of this Lin Yanjun kind of added onto the older boy’s desire to talk to him. Maybe _fear_ wasn’t a good way to describe how Zhangjing felt around him: Zhangjing was more _intimidated_ than anything.

“You know what’s weird though? Mr. Tsai didn’t introduce him to the class,” Zhangjing commented. A little frown spread over Zhangjing’s lips as the two of them reached the lunch lines—there had better be chicken nachos left by the time they get there.

Linong seem unsurprised, unbothered even, by the lack of welcoming, and shrugged to show his indifference. “Well, no wonder… He did walk in late without anyone really noticing. I’m sure Mr. Tsai just didn’t know how to react.”

It was their turn to finally get nachos, so the conversation of Lin Yanjun was paused until they returned to their lunch table. As soon as Zhu Zhengting saw Zhangjing and Linong from across the lunch room, his eyes _gleamed_ from the joy he was about to get from all this Lin Yanjun talk.

“Okay so like. You, You Zhangjing, did a _chemistry lab_ with Lin Yanjun, which is crazy, and I would like to know your thoughts, your feelings, and every little detail because I was too focused on those stupid voltaic cells,” Zhengting said all in one breath as Zhangjing and Linong took their seats across from Zhengting and Justin.

“He’s not _that_ scary… He wasn’t that bad, even if he didn’t really do anything,” Zhangjing reasoned, shoveling a loaded nacho into his mouth.

“The classic bad boy,” Zhengting hummed, “He’s insanely attractive, too. If only he’d talk, then we could hear what he sounds like.”

Justin raised his hand a little, indicating he had a comment to add as he finished chewing on his bite of sandwich. “He probably sounds like a prepubescent middle schooler if he never talks. He’s angry at the world.”

“That was literally you one year ago, Justin.”

“Wait, Zhengting,” Zhangjing interjected before Zhengting could lecture Justin further, “Does he not talk? He talked to me. It was like, five words, but he sounded normal enough. He didn’t say anything earlier when I bumped into him, though.”

“That is entirely too much information for all one cohesive thought, You Zhangjing,” Zhengting said, leaning forward.

“Hey, I’m just recovering from that incident myself, okay?” Zhangjing sighed a little, just shoving another nacho into his mouth before rewinding into the events from earlier that day.

 

\--

 

Zhangjing didn’t see Yanjun for the rest of the day.

This was actually kind of disappointing; Zhangjing had found out from his classmates that there was actually another class that Zhangjing had that Yanjun was supposed to be in as well: AP English. But he was a no-show.

After tea regarding the collision was spilled during lunch, Zhangjing was suddenly declared to be the constant watch-guard of Lin Yanjun. Zhangjing and Yanjun did the lab together; therefore, even when Ziyi would be back tomorrow, all three of them would have to work on the report together. Which meant close proximities with each other.

With _Lin Yanjun,_ obviously. Zhangjing accepted the mission.

Zhangjing truly, genuinely had his mind on other things as he walked out of school later that day. School had ended some twenty minutes ago, but Zhangjing needed to stay behind to ask his English teacher some questions about the research project after fourth block. The school yard was empty, of course, Zhangjing clearly one of the last students to leave.

Except for a certain Lin Yanjun.

Immediately, Zhangjing stopped in his steps as his mind confirmed what his eyes were seeing: Lin Yanjun sitting on a bench outside of the school.

Across the school yard, their eyes met. Yanjun, perhaps realizing he was within talking range from Zhangjing, stood and began to walk in the other direction.

_Jerk._

Zhangjing pushed his bottom lip out into a frustrated pout, and before he could think twice it just came out.

“Hey Lin Yanjun.”

The leather-clad boy didn’t turn to look at Zhangjing, but he did stop. Zhangjing was shocked that even worked.

“I know you can speak, you know.” Zhangjing walked up to him, facing the taller boy because Yanjun for some reason refused to move.

Immediately, the same scent of vanilla swept over him, so captivating that Zhangjing swore he could see swirls of vanilla musk spiraling around the younger boy as he looked down into Zhangjing’s gaze with those same cold eyes.

“Why are you being so strange? You kick my chair but then you don’t do the lab, and then you don’t say a single word to me,” Zhangjing lectured, but he had honestly lost his previous bravery. As soon as Yanjun locked eyes with Zhangjing, his knees just felt weak.

Still nothing. At that point Zhangjing was wondering if he was mentally, well, _there_.

“... Fine, don’t say anything,” Zhangjing gave in, looking down, his voice losing basically all intensity. “I’m sorry for earlier. For trying to put goggles on you, you looked really mad.”

That was a fat lie. He wasn’t that sorry— the younger boy actually hurt him when he grabbed his wrist.

“And I’m sorry about running into you this morning,” Zhangjing continued. He _did_ mean this apology, even if Zhangjing was the one knocked over. “I swear I didn’t see you.”

Yanjun’s eyes were still _locked_ on Zhangjing’s as he responded curtly, “Just give me your phone. I’ll put in my chat ID so we can work on the lab.”

Zhangjing literally had no idea how to respond.

What kind of response was that? _Not a normal person’s response,_ Zhangjing thought, still kind of just looking at Yanjun. Normally in a conversation, people don’t just change subject in two seconds. People usually also react to the subject at hand and respond to _that._

Zhangjing was also beginning to wonder if Lin Yanjun knew how to, well, talk to people.

But with no verbal response, Zhangjing did just that: he reached into his pocket, took out his phone, unlocked it, and handed it over to Yanjun.

Zhangjing chewed on his lip the entire twenty seconds it took Yanjun to put his contact information in his phone, the younger boy pushing the phone back into Zhangjing’s hands when he finished.

And then Yanjun turned on his heel and walked away, leaving Zhangjing to stand awkwardly all by himself. Naturally, the first thing Zhangjing did the second Yanjun was out of sight was update the group chat with the news on what the hell just happened. Lin Yanjun was _weird_.

Zhangjing decided to not mention to anyone that his heartrate never really went down to normal the entire day.

 

\--

 

**_Group Chat: “*eats ur asshole* owo”_ **

**azorayeet**

uh guys

you know lin yanjun

**NongNongSoup**

Yes

 

**pigzhengting**

fuck u just tell us what happened

jk love u xx

**azorayeet**

so about him

he gave me his chat id so we could work on the lab together

**pigzhengting**

INHALE

 

 **_pigzhengting changed Group Chat_ ** **_name to: “lin yanjun w/ a side of w h i p p e d cream”_ **

 

**iBlowBubbles**

WAT

**NongNongSoup**

Whoa!

**iBlowBubbles**

BOIII IF U DON’T

 

**pigzhengting**

i am bald????

what have u texted him???

have u texted him

 

**azorayeet**

no i didn’t fucking text him yet

im so nervy

 

**pigzhengting**

don’t curse zhangjing we have a freshie child in this groupchat

 

**iBlowBubbles**

yeah guys don’t fucking curse around me

 

**NongNongSoup**

This is so exciting!

I think you should just say hi

And ask him when he wants to work on the lab

 

**pigzhengting**

ask him when he wants to work on eating ur ass

 

**NongNongSoup**

No

 

**iBlowBubbles**

that’s my line :(

 

**pigzhengting**

ok i got it

send him just this as an intro

no words

 

**NongNongSoup**

Omg!

 

**iBlowBubbles**

that is literally such a good idea zhengting.

 

**azorayeet**

lol

ok

i sent it

 

**pigzhengting**

what

 

**iBlowBubbles**

wat

nooooooo

pls

idk whether to say pls no or pls yes

 

**NongNongSoup**

…

 

**pigzhengting**

that was a joke and u know it you zhangjing

don’t u DARE tell me that’s what u actually

omg

 

**_Chat with yanjun159_ **

**azorayeet**

hello!

_Sent with confetti._

Oshit i didn’t mean to sent the confetti

lol

 

_Message read._

**_Group chat: “lin yanjun w/ a side of w h i p p e d cream”_ **

 

**pigzhengting**

you zhangjing i swear

if you really fucking sent him that

 

**azorayeet**

NO I DIDN’T SEND HIM THAT

 

**iBlowBubbles**

CAPSCAPSCAPSCAPSCAPSCAPSCAPSCAPSCAPS

**pigzhengting**

justin shut up

and oh. lol then we gucci

 

**azorayeet**

NO WE AINT GUCCI

I SENT HIM JUST A HI

BUT WITH CONFETTI

BY ACCIDENT

AND HE LEFT ME ON READ

**pigzhengting**

…you cant be forreal

 

**iBlowBubbles**

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

**NongNongSoup:**

Oh my gosh

Holy

!!! He left you on read !!!

 

**pigzhengting**

rip in pieces you zhangjing. it was nice knowing you

 

**azorayeet**

kill me please

im going home

 

**Bubbles**

hey guys what’s going on?

my phone was blowing up in the middle of my piano lesson

 

**pigzhengting**

lol

scroll up and read. trust me. its worth it

 

**azorayeet**

it really isn’t chengcheng

omg im cringing

im going home.

goodbye.


	2. outfitting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> zhangjing cares about what he wears? now he does

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for the kudos and the comments!!! it all means so much to me. So here’s another chapter, hope you enjoy :)
> 
>  

Zhangjing woke up that next morning with a giant weight in his stomach, and it was all because of that asshole Lin Yanjun.

Zhangjing was left on read that entire night. Which was fine, totally fine, and Zhangjing didn’t feel like curling up into a ball at all. Hell, he had even finished his homework by seven the night before so he could keep himself constantly busy from all the cringe.

Thinking back on it _,_ Zhangjing realized as he stared up at his ceiling, his alarm still screaming next to his ear, he really should have taken longer on his homework. Because the cringe kept him from getting a goodnight’s sleep.

Zhangjing’s stomach dropped even lower when he turned off his phone alarm, seeing that he had received no response back from Lin Yanjun that entire night.

He was spending way too much thought on just some jerk. Some insanely attractive jerk. Zhangjing lost about ten percent of his overall concentration on his college applications.

_All because of that asshole Lin Yanjun._

 

\--

 

Zhangjing had gotten ready so early that when he arrived to the school, early as usual to work on his common application essay, he was twenty minutes earlier than usual.

The second he sat down at the usual lunch table in the cafeteria, he pulled out his laptop and threw himself into his work once more. He hardly even glanced up at Justin and Chengcheng when they sat across from him, as normal.

It was their normal bickering, except the taunts laced with Wang Ziyi’s name were now replaced with another junior’s. Zhangjing glared at the underclassmen when the confetti incident from yesterday were mentioned.

“We should make a list. Collision Incident, Wrist Incident, and then Confetti Incident,” Justin listed off his fingers. “Do you think if I’m totally weird around Lin Yanjun he’ll grab my wrist too?”

“Oh my God please,” Zhangjing whimpered in mercy underneath his breath, furiously typing away at his keyboard to pull up a Thesaurus website. Zhangjing hadn’t realized he was using the word “unique” way, way too many times.

“You’re weird in a stupid kind of way. Zhangjing is a very special kind of weird,” Chengcheng responded, “Because Zhangjing is the kind of weird to dress unusually well to school because some guy with a scar grabbed his wrist.”

“I’m-! I’m not dressed unusually well!” Zhangjing sputtered out, finally tearing his eyes away from his laptop screen.

“How long did you spend this morning picking out your outfit?” Justin asked innocently, looking at Zhangjing’s oversized pink sweater, skinny jeans that weren’t _too_ skinny, and Adidas.

After that violation of Zhangjing’s privacy, the senior spent the rest of his before-school-time in his homeroom.

Zhengting didn’t give him a break, either.

“You never wear those shoes unless you want to look cute. Does someone want to be cute for a certain scarred asshole who left him on read, today?” Zhengting chided the _moment_ he sat down next to Zhangjing.

Zhangjing pressed the backspace key on his keyboard so hard that he hurt his finger.

“Precious,” Zhangjing cooed, “Well, you look adorable if it means anything. I understand, y’know.”

Zhengting’s phone dinged and the taller immediately picked it up, reading over it. He then immediately began to fan himself.

“According to Cai Xukun,” Zhengting announced, “Lin Yanjun has showed up for homeroom today. He saw with his own eyes when he did his routine homeroom-attendance-sheet-collecting just minutes ago.”

That actually got Zhangjing’s attention. His fingers paused against the keyboard as he innocently, casually looked over at Zhengting’s phone, which the other brunette had pushed towards Zhangjing to see.

“… Huh,” Zhangjing commented, trying to make light of this fact and turning back to his laptop screen, “That’s weird.”

Another ding from Zhengting’s phone. “So Kunkun thinks that he’s in homeroom because teachers chased him down for never going to class. But _I_ think that Lin Yanjun finally has a reason to go to class.”

Zhangjing exhaled a little, refusing to look at Zhengting, for Zhangjing knew that the other was waggling his eyebrows at him.

“I’m just glad Wang Ziyi is here today to help,” Zhangjing replied. He was being honest; not only could Ziyi actually help with the analyzing, but with another person, the awkwardness would hopefully be broken.

Hopefully.

First block came along slowly enough. Zhangjing and Zhengting walked into the chemistry lab together just seconds before the bell rang, immediately making their way to the back for the lab benches: the day after they completed a lab, they were always given the block to work out the questions and start the report.

Wang Ziyi, thankfully, was sitting at their usual lab bench, smiling and waving at Zhangjing across the room.

“I have never been more grateful for you in my entire life,” Zhangjing grinned as he sat beside him, “I really forget how awful I am at chemistry without you.”

“You aren’t awful,” Ziyi told him, as he had told Zhangjing many times before, “But I’m glad to help, as always. How was doing the lab alone?”

“I actually had a partner yesterday,” Zhangjing said, “You might know him, since you were here Monday and Tuesday… You know that new kid in your class?”

Confusion struck Ziyi’s face for a second. He hesitated to respond. “Wait, you don’t mean…”

Ziyi trailed off, his eyes suddenly fixated on something behind Zhangjing. The shorter boy turned, seeing Lin Yanjun entering the classroom, late and through the back door just like yesterday.

Zhangjing’s heart started to pound _furiously_ against his chest. But Yanjun wasn’t looking at Zhangjing, no; he was instead fixated on the taller boy sitting beside Zhangjing.

Lin Yanjun then approached them with such intensity in his step, in his glare that Zhangjing could even feel Ziyi stiffen a little.

“Hi, Yanjun, remember how I told you about-?”

“That’s my seat.” Yanjun cut Zhangjing off. He didn’t even _look_ at him, still fixated on Ziyi.

Zhangjing shrunk into himself, attempting to turtle into his pink sweater.

Ziyi merely frowned. “Don’t interrupt Zhangjing.”

“Lin Yanjun,” Zhangjing said rather bravely, “That’s where he has sat all year. Wang Ziyi is my lab partner, _our_ lab partner. Weren’t you listening to me yesterday?”

Yanjun looked down at Zhangjing, finally meeting his eye for the first time. Zhangjing kind of hated himself for how long he was waiting for that.

“It’s nice to finally meet you,” Ziyi smiled, attempting to still form decent first impressions, “We’ll probably be a lab group all year.”

Yanjun just stared at them with that same glare, and Ziyi and Zhangjing stared back for a couple of seconds.

Zhangjing decided to break the silence. “Oh just sit down. I pulled up another stool for you.” Across the classroom, Linong and Zhengting were watching, the latter giving Zhangjing a big thumbs up. Zhangjing made a face in return.

“Sit,” Zhangjing repeated when Yanjun still just stood there, demanding this time and pointing to the stool next to him, “We have a lab report to work on, you know.”

And Lin Yanjun sat. That was probably the only time he’d cooperate that entire block, Zhangjing figured.

“Uh, Zhangjing?” came Ziyi’s voice. Zhangjing turned to look.

Ziyi held up Zhangjing’s completed lab from the day before, flipping to the last page. The last page that Zhangjing wasn’t aware they had—an entire data table.

“I think you forgot this page.”

Or maybe his lab wasn’t very complete.

“I-I-I,” Zhangjing stammered, his entire being going into a panic at the sight of the blank table. “I didn’t see it, Ziyi I’m so sorry, I’ll stay after school today to get all that data—”

“Zhangjing, relax.” Ziyi stopped him in the middle of his little anxiety attack, leaning forward to put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing. “It’s not a data table. We just have to describe the physical characteristics of the metals. Mr. Tsai still has the samples out so we can do that now.”

While Zhangjing was nodding in understanding, his heart was still racing at a thousand beats per second. He had to admit, though, Ziyi always had a way of calming him down.

“Sit,” Ziyi instructed when Zhangjing rushed to get up, pushing him back down with the hand still on his shoulder, “I’ll get the samples.”

Ziyi gave him one last of his signature warm smiles before heading off to the front of the room. Only then did Zhangjing remember Yanjun sitting right next to him, chin rested on hand just like yesterday.

“Ah.. sorry,” Zhangjing smiled awkwardly. Yanjun looked back at him; Zhangjing felt weak. “I should have done that yesterday but...”

 _It’s hard to do a whole lab by yourself_ , Zhangjing wanted to say, but he wanted to live so he kept his mouth shut. The shorter glanced down at their lab, shuffling with the data packet for a few seconds, pretending he wasn’t fulling aware of Lin Yanjun still staring at him.

“Thank god for Wang Ziyi...” Zhangjing said lowly, talking more to himself that he were to Yanjun at that point, “Why does he even put up with me?”

“Don’t tell me you can’t tell why.”

Yanjun responded in a _heartbeat_.

Zhangjing snapped his head up to look at Yanjun, mostly shocked that Yanjun had spoken at all. That same stare from seconds ago was now tinted with something accusatory, demanding. And for some reason, Zhangjing felt the need to apologize.

“... What do you mean?” Zhangjing asked quietly, his hands retreating into the sleeves of his sweater.

Just then, there was a loud screeching sound just inches behind Zhangjing, causing the senior to jump a couple inches in the air. It was just Ziyi, having returned with the metal samples and had dragged his stool against the floor.

“Hey Wang Ziyi, I use these ears to sing,” Zhangjing lectured, placing a hand to his still racing heart. The taller laughed, grinning apologetically as he took a seat.

“I’m sorry for scaring you, and I’m sorry for damaging your expensive ears.”

“Apology accepted, now let’s describe the heck out of these metals,” Zhangjing hummed, picking up a thin piece of copper.

Zhangjing never responded to Yanjun’s question, Zhangjing realized later when the block was near over. Not that he even really knew what he meant, anyways.

Yanjun was about as much help as he was the day before, leaving Ziyi and Zhangjing to their devices. In fact, Zhangjing hardly even looked back at Yanjun while they worked.

The bell rang. Ziyi and Zhangjing exchanged their goodbyes as usual, and Yanjun was out the door before Zhangjing even turned around.

“Lin Yanjun seems fond of Wang Ziyi, doesn’t he?” Zhengting chided Zhangjing as he joined him and Linong outside in the hallway, immediately making that same pit in Zhangjing’s stomach sink.

“Oh _yeah_ , huge fan,” Linong agreed enthusiastically, beginning to walk down the hall, the others following suit.

“You guys think so?” Zhangjing asked, trying not to show how much the idea of Yanjun liking someone affected him.

Zhengting looked at him, rolling his eyes and shoving Zhangjing’s shoulder with his own. “No, you moron. Did you seriously not notice? Yanjun was _glaring_ at him the entire time.”

“How did you not?” Linong asked, furrowing his brow, “Ziyi looked super uncomfortable. I thought that you were just pretending not to notice anything.”

“And me and Linong were theorizing on why he was so upset with Ziyi,” Zhengting interjected, waggling his eyebrows at Zhangjing when the shorter wrinkled his nose a little, “And we both agreed pretty quickly that Yanjun’s sudden hate for someone he has never met before is related to Ziyi’s interest in _you_.”

“I swear to God Zhu Zhengting, if you _dare_ \--!” Zhangjing snapped, his eyes immediately narrowing before Linong stepped in.

“No, we aren’t going off on Ziyi,” Linong prefaced. Zhangjing kept his temper simmering.

Ever since sophomore year, all his friends could talk about was Ziyi’s _love_ for Zhangjing. Someone like Wang Ziyi—rich, insanely rich and had been privately tutored ever since he was four—insisting to partner up with Zhangjing for the science classes they always seemed to share just seemed strange to them. But Ziyi was partners with Zhangjing and helped him because he was a good friend and that was that. Sometimes, Zhangjing had enough with their teasing.

This was one of those times.

“It’s just that,” Linong continued, “While Ziyi’s potential interest in you remains a mystery, the way he talks to you is very… touchy. It’s very easy to misinterpret.”

“So either Yanjun isn’t here for what he thinks is PDA,” Zhengting concluded with a cheeky smile, “Or… or, just _maybe_ , Lin Yanjun thinks you’re cute as hell and thinks Ziyi is a threat.”

Zhangjing couldn’t hide the red that spread across his cheeks at the mere idea. He only threatens to hit Zhengting for laughing at his obvious blush.

Zhangjing’s face was still tinted pink when he walked into second block. And as the teacher began the day’s lecture, all Zhangjing could see was a jagged stripe of lightening, and dark eyes that might as well had been a black abyss for how often Zhangjing seemed to fall into them.

It took Zhangjing five minutes into second block to realize what had just happened.

He didn’t pay attention for a few minutes because of Lin Yanjun.

He didn’t _pay attention._

Zhangjing _always_ pays attention. He needs to pay attention, Zhangjing reminds himself, because paying attention in class is crucial to getting good grades.

He needed these good grades get into college with because good tests scores and good extra curriculars and good activities and good essays and good supplementals weren’t all that he needed to get a full scholarship, he needed it all, _every bit to ensure that he was going to get into a decent college because he didn’t have money, he didn’t have a lot of things so it was crucial,_ it was _absolutely crucial—_

_Breathe._

Zhangjing let his eyes fall shut, taking in a slow, deep breath as reasoned with himself. It was just five minutes. Zhengting spent about ten times that amount thinking about Cai Xukun in a single class.

But Lin Yanjun was kind of fucking up Zhangjing’s rules just by existing. And it kind of scared Zhangjing.

And when class wrapped up in about an hour and a half, Zhangjing slowly put his notebook and pencil case back into his book bag with his hands that were covered by a stupid pink sweater that Zhangjing had never even wore before.

Lin Yanjun was kind of fucking Zhangjing up, _period._

 

\--

 

Zhangjing shut down conversation of Lin Yanjun at lunch. If Zhangjing was going to focus properly during third and fourth block, then he needed to get a certain leather clad boy completely out of his mind. And it worked, mostly. Zhangjing was back to his usual attentive self all throughout third block. And he was planning to keep on going during fourth block.

Until he walked into his English classroom, only to see Lin Yanjun _already fucking there._ Before anyone else, before _Zhangjing_ which he didn’t even know was possible; Zhangjing was always first to English because his third block class was right next door. But there Yanjun was.

Just sitting.

In the back.

Sitting right behind Zhangjing’s seat.

Which Zhangjing understood logically, because Zhangjing usually sat towards the back of classes where there were assigned seats, because his last name did begin with a Y, and he was the last name in this class since Zhengting had asked in the beginning of the year to sit in the front of the class, and there was only one desk left and that desk was behind Zhangjing and—

Zhangjing stopped breathing when Lin Yanjun’s gaze met his, the shorter quickly letting his gaze fall and just making his way to his seat already.

Zhangjing was convinced that he was only telling himself that Yanjun’s eyes followed him, but he _swore_ that he could feel an intense gaze on his back as he slowly sat in front of the younger boy.

 _How is he even in so many AP classes if he doesn’t go to class?_ Zhangjing thought to himself, distracting himself by taking out his English binder.

 _He’s here so early, too._ Zhangjing looked up gratefully as a couple of his classmates entered the class, looking equally surprised to see the infamous Lin Yanjun sitting quietly behind Zhangjing. Like a normal student.

_It’s almost as if he’s early because he didn’t go to third block and came straight here._

_Maybe he wanted to come to this class but not third block._

Zhangjing stopped his train of thought right there. He was kind of forced to, too, because at that moment Zhengting walked into class, saw Yanjun sitting there and immediately just beamed right at Zhangjing.

At least there would be minimal cause for awkward, heart-racing interaction that period: they were to pick partners for their research project that day, and Zhengting and Zhangjing had already agreed the previous day to be partners.

Class began, and Ms. Choi gave the class permission to spend the first few minutes deciding on their partners before heading down to the library to start research. Zhangjing remained seated, knowing there was no need. As the class was at an uneven number before their new student arrived, Lin Yanjun would probably be partnered with whoever didn’t have one already, Zhangjing concluded in his head—

“Zhangjing, I’m not your partner anymore.”

Zhangjing blinked out of his brainstorm, glancing up at Zhengting who was standing before his desk. Bi Wenjun stood besides Zhengting, looking mildly confused. Zhangjing shared the same expression.

“I decided to work with Wenjun, so I guess you’ll need a new partner,” Zhengting announced, as if he wanted people within a meter radius of them to hear.

Then Zhengting winked at Zhangjing, and everything clicked.

Zhengting very much wanted people within a meter radius of them to hear, because on this list of people was Lin _fucking_ Yanjun and Zhangjing was tempted to jump out of his seat and have a go. But Zhengting grabbed Wenjun by his wrist before Zhangjing could even react properly, walking away towards the front of the room and sitting Wenjun down in the desk besides his own.

Slowly, carefully, Zhangjing turned around in his seat to face Yanjun. His heart was already getting a head start on beating out of his chest, it seemed.

“I guess we’re partners then,” Zhangjing said as casually as he possibly could, “I could fill you in on what the project is all about when we get down to the library if you’d like.”

Zhangjing bravely looked up at Yanjun. That gaze never failed to knock the breath out of him.

Yanjun leaned forward in his seat, arms crossed on his desk, never breaking eye contact.

“Yeah. I’ll find a private spot in the library. Just follow me when we go,” Yanjun replied curtly.

 _Private?_ Zhangjing wondered if his blush returned; he smiled a little anyways, nodding his head.

“Yeah, I work better when I’m alone, too,” Zhangjing responded nonchalantly, as if the words _private spot_ didn’t just make his heart jump a little.

Yanjun stared him down, as if not relating to Zhangjing’s comment at all. And Zhangjing kind of looked back at him, for some reason expecting a response.

Zhangjing continued. “… Well, we can ask to go down to the library first, since I think a lot of people have already gone down by themselves—”

Yanjun didn’t let Zhangjing finish, standing up and already heading out of the classroom. The shorter just sat in his seat for a few seconds, wondering if he would ever get used to Lin Yanjun’s weird personality.

_Just follow me._

Zhangjing suddenly remembered what Yanjun said, standing up and following the taller quickly. But he was about to spend an entire block _alone_ with Lin Yanjun. So Zhangjing made a decision as he was following Yanjun to the library: the moment they found a table in the library, he’d excuse himself and get help via group chat.

Zhangjing needed it.

 

\--

**_Group chat: “lin yanjun w/ a side of w h i p p e d cream”_ **

**azorayeet**

first of all

zhengting: fuck you

second of all

h e l p

 

**pigzhengting**

lmaoooooo

u better be grateful u conservative thot

it is literally going to be so awkward being partners with wenjun

 

**iBlowBubbles**

wtf

why are you partners with your ex u dumdum

 

**Bubbles**

partners for what?

 

**pigzhengting**

english lol. i set zhangjing up with yanjun bc im the greatest friend ever

and took one for the team

 

**azorayeet**

i am currently hiding in the biography section

while lin yanjun is sitting in the back of the library

in some secluded area that i didn’t even know was a thing

because he wanted to find a

“private spot”

 

**pigzhengting**

ur WELCOME

 

**Bubbles**

wait im so confused i thought ap lit was for seniors only

 

**azorayeet**

oh yeah

wtf

 

**pigzhengting**

according to cai xukun

 

**iBlowBubbles**

daddy

 

**pigzhengting**

lin yanjun has a brain

and took ap english lang/comp his sophomore year

a year early

 

**NongNongSoup**

But all he does is skip class…

I’m confused is he a good student or a bad student?

 

**iBlowBubbles**

maybe he was a stellar student up until he got his scar

he lost all of his honor

honor as in he lost his honor roll grades

haha get it

 

**azorayeet**

gUYS

this is something to theorize about later

lin yanjun is waiting for me what do i do????

 

**pigzhengting**

stop being a fucking weirdo

im sitting next to wenjun in the library and texting y’all

and i know he can see everything im typing

bc i have no shame

lin yanjun grabbed your wrist. i think you have a right to be a little weird around him

 

**iBlowBubbles**

agreed

 

**azorayeet**

ok fine im going in

wish me luck boys

 

\--

 

 

“So, uh, I guess that’s it for what we need to do presentation wise and paper wise… Now we just need something to research.”

Zhangjing finished his little mini speech on what the project’s guidelines were to Yanjun. After his five-minute group chat break, he returned to their secluded area in the library. Enclosed by bookshelves, the area was small, with only a small rectangular table and three chairs. Yanjun sat across from Zhangjing, and there honestly wasn’t a lot of wiggle room.

Yanjun seemed to be paying attention, his eyes following Zhangjing’s gaze when he pointed to different things on the assignment sheet Ms. Choi had given to everyone. It was probably even more nerve wracking than doing the lab yesterday, purely because Lin Yanjun seemed to actually give a little bit of a shit.

Yanjun shrugged, leaning forward and resting crossed arms on the table once more. “You pick the topic,” he said lowly, more demanding than offering. Zhangjing was honestly still having a hard time getting used to Yanjun’s voice. It was deep. It was nice.

“Ah… I honestly haven’t given it much thought,” Zhangjing admitted, “I was going to use today to research different topics.”

Zhangjing pulled out his laptop, setting it in front of him delicately and opening it up. “You can uh, just look stuff up too, if you’d… like…”

Zhangjing trailed off, for the younger boy had suddenly stood, took his chair, walked around the table and put it _right_ next to Zhangjing’s.

And then he sat down.

Zhangjing must have been looking at Yanjun weirdly, because the younger boy seemed kind of offended that this action could be interpreted as at all weird.

“I don’t have a laptop,” he explained, annoyance clear in his voice.

“I-I. I’m sorry, that’s fine, sorry for. Sorry for being weird,” Zhangjing hardly managed out, every single word that came out of his mouth making Zhangjing physically cringe.

But Yanjun wasn’t looking at Zhangjing anymore, no, his gaze was on Zhangjing’s laptop screen, as if he were suddenly invested in whatever he was going to look up.

So Zhangjing just opened up his internet browser and began searching for topics.

Yanjun didn’t say anything for the rest of the block. Not that this fact was surprising in the least, but it did leave Zhangjing anxious as hell as always. Yanjun left quickly as always, as well, leaving without even as much as a goodbye the moment the bell rang.

The entire time, Zhangjing had to sit there and not pretend that Yanjun sitting so close to him didn’t affect him not even a little.

The older let out a little sigh as he watched Yanjun go. They didn’t even decide on a topic yet. Which meant Zhangjing would have to text him later about it. The thought alone made Zhangjing kind of want to die.

 

\--

 

Zhangjing never ended up texting Yanjun that Thursday night.

He thought about it. A lot. Even wrote out a couple of ways to try and begin a conversation, but Zhangjing couldn’t even get a single _hi_ out. He just kept telling himself that Yanjun probably wouldn’t do any work anyways, that he should probably not annoy him needlessly.

Zhangjing did, however, go to school the next day dressed unusually well once again. He wasn’t going to deny it any longer to himself; he just wanted to look presentable, especially since Yanjun seemed to be so carelessly attractive.

However, the next day was just not very interesting. Zhangjing had wrongly assumed that Yanjun was warming up to the idea of talking; however, Yanjun’s speech progression was clearly not a linear pattern. When Ziyi and Zhangjing worked on the lab in Chemistry, he didn’t say a thing. And in English, only Wednesdays and Thursdays were to be used as research days, so there was a normal lesson during fourth block.

Even when Zhangjing was brave enough to turn around to look at Lin Yanjun, the junior was gazing out the window just as he was the first day.

By the end of the day, Zhangjing just felt ridiculous. He wore his best flannel, and Yanjun couldn’t even afford to glance at him.

With the lab due Monday, and Yanjun being of absolutely no help once again, Zhangjing knew that him and Ziyi would probably have to work together over the weekend to finish. Which was fine, honestly. The weekend would give Zhangjing time to think.

Time to think about things that aren’t related to Lin Yanjun, Zhangjing hoped.

 

\--

****

**_Chat with w.booyi_ **

**w.booyi**

Hey zhangjing! :)

When can you come over on Saturday?

The fam says you’re welcome to stay for dinner if you want

 

**azorayeet**

awww really? your family is just so sweet

they’re the nicest people on the planet

 

**w.booyi**

I like how even though we offer you dinner every time you come over

You still act surprised

As if it’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for you. Lol

 

**azorayeet**

it’s just that i appreciate it a lot is all

(read: your family chef knows how to treat the hell out of my taste buds)

 

**w.booyi**

Hahahahahahaha

It’s not like I put in a special note for you every time you come over saying how much you love curry rice, fried pork, and sausage. Nope not at all.

;)

 

**azorayeet**

you are literally nicer to me than the rest of my stupid friends combined

i can come over around five on saturday, does that sound okay?

 

**w.booyi**

Of course!

See you then :)

 

**azorayeet**

oh and also

what about yanjun?

 

**w.booyi**

I don’t think he’d be of much help.

Don’t worry about it

Just bring you and your smile

 

**azorayeet**

got it. lol

 

**_Chat with yanjun_ **

**azorayeet**

hey lin yanjun.

you know we have to work on the lab this weekend, right

 

_Message read._

 

\--

 

Mondays were Zhangjing’s off-days.

He sometimes didn’t come into school early to work on his essays, he _always_ didn’t look presentable, and until half-way through first block he hardly acted human. He was just all sass and attitude until then.

On these Mondays, Zhangjing would routinely wear his matching gray sweatshirt and sweatpants to school, never wanting to think about stupid things like clothes. on those early Monday mornings. He just didn’t realize that his choice of outfit was so noticeable until he came to school dressed in a yellow hoodie and white skinny jeans.

“Ho- _ly fuck_. You are fucking whipped for Lin Yanjun,” Zhengting said in amazement when Zhangjing sat beside him in homeroom.

“Yes, I already heard from Justin and Chengcheng this morning,” Zhangjing sighed. The two underclassmen were so worked up over it; Zhangjing, already being in his Monday Mood, could just not get any work done with their excitement. “It’s new.”

“It’s not just new, Zhangjing. It’s unreal. I have _never_ seen you give even a second glance to a boy,” Zhengting insisted, an amused smile on his lips. “Who knew that your type was assholes?”

“At least I have a type, Zhengting. Anyways,” Zhangjing proceeded before Zhengting could come up with a retort, taking out his and Ziyi’s lab report from his bag, “Can we compare lab reports last second?”

They were able to compare all lab questions, graphs, and data before homeroom ended, and Zhangjing actually felt quite confident in this particular lab. Ziyi had taken the time on Saturday to not just help with completing the lab, but carefully explaining every question that Zhangjing had. Not that this was out of the ordinary; it was Zhangjing’s amount of questions that were unusually high. But Ziyi was patient as always.

Zhangjing was so confident, in fact, that it hardly affected Zhangjing at all to see Yanjun already sitting at the lab table when he entered the classroom. His heart only jumped in his chest a _little_. Sure, Yanjun left him on read again, but it was honestly his loss. Zhangjing was just trying to be considerate.

That’s what Zhangjing told himself, anyways.

Ziyi, of course, was at the lab table as always, sitting at an awkwardly long distance away from the other junior. Zhangjing just hoped it wasn’t too awkward between the two of them.

“I just want to thank you again, Ziyi,” Zhangjing smiled the moment he sat down at the lab table. Ziyi was already returning the grin. “For not strangling me on Saturday with all my questions.”

“Hey, I’m always glad to help you and your fourteen thousand questions. Did everything print out okay?” Ziyi grinned.

“Yup!” Zhangjing smiled, pulling out the lab from his bag and handing it to Ziyi, “Not wasting your printer ink is honestly the best help I can be.”

“It would have been easier to just print it out while we were at my house.”

“Shh,” Zhangjing smiled, holding up a hand, “Enough with your reasoning.”

Ziyi’s grin flickered, causing Zhangjing to frown ever so slightly, putting his hand down. “I didn’t mean it seriously,” Zhangjing promised, but Ziyi just shook his head.

That’s when Zhangjing finally noticed the sideways look Ziyi gave behind Zhangjing, and the shorter turned to look. Zhangjing didn’t notice until then, but he always had his back towards Yanjun whenever he spoke to Ziyi.

Which was why Zhangjing was so oblivious to that fucking glare that Lin Yanjun was shooting them down with.

Zhangjing thought that Yanjun glared before, but no. What was once a smolder in his eyes was now brightly on fire, small balls of fire behind both black onyx eyes. Zhangjing felt his insides melt just a little, scrambling in his mind desperately to try and think of something to say, to try and find a reason for why he was glaring bullets.

It was Ziyi who tugged on Zhangjing’s sleeve, the shorter spinning back around on his stool to look back at the taller. Ziyi gave him a reassuring smile, one that Zhangjing only tried to return.

“We just finished the lab over the weekend, that’s all,” Ziyi attempted pleasantly. Yanjun’s gaze didn’t falter.

“Just you two, alone,” Yanjun stated. There was a bit of grit with the word “alone”—as if that’s the part that annoyed him the most. If the comment was as weird to Ziyi as it was to Zhangjing, the other didn’t show it.

“I-I texted you,” Zhangjing added, knowing that this was news to Ziyi, “You didn’t respond so I just assumed you were busy.”

No response, that time. Yanjun just shifted his glare from Ziyi to Zhangjing.

The bell rang, thankfully, Mr. Tsai calling for attention and ordering the labs to be turned in. Thankfully, that day they were to be working on practice AP questions, so everyone was to return to their desk and work quietly on the packets. Zhangjing gladly threw himself into the struggles of orbitals and electron configurations, and never once turned back to look at Lin Yanjun. For the first time since he met Yanjun, Zhangjing was genuinely scared of the taller boy.

Even Ziyi still had something to say about it after class. Zhengting and Linong and pulled Zhangjing out into the hallway seconds after the bell rang, asking him question after question and only stopping when Ziyi walked up to them, his brows furrowed.

“Are you guys talking about what happened with Yanjun?” Ziyi asked. Zhengting nodded eagerly, eyes wide.

“I could _feel_ that look from across the classroom. What did you guys say to him? Zhangjing won’t tell us a damn thing,” Zhengting asked.

“That’s because Zhangjing didn’t say anything,” Ziyi replied, looking bothered that Zhangjing was even considered to be a part of the blame, “Nothing bad. We were just talking about how we did the lab over the weekend and he was pissed that we didn’t include him. But it turns out Zhangjing even texted Yanjun to let him know, and Yanjun ignored him.”

Zhengting smacked Zhangjing’s arm, the shorter yelping out and glaring up at his taller friend. Zhengting made a face back at him.

“Don’t give me that look. You _know_ you should have texted me before you tried talking to Lin Yanjun,” Zhengting lectured.

“But all he did was talk to him about the lab. Why is he acting so mad if he clearly didn’t even want to work on it?” Linong asked. Zhangjing just shook his head, confused. But he felt guilty for some reason. Zhangjing _hated_ it when people didn’t like him. He liked making friends with everyone, even people like Xingjie and Linkai.

He let his gaze fall elsewhere, and Zhangjing didn’t see Yanjun until it was too late.

Yanjun walked past them, his shoulder harshly, purposefully shoving right into Ziyi, causing the taller to stumble forward in surprise. When Ziyi looked up to see who it was (and possibly apologize for being in the way), Yanjun didn’t even turn back. He just continued his way down the hallway.

Zhangjing had enough.

“Yah Lin Yanjun!”

Zhangjing’s shout cut through the noisy halls, not enough to break through all the chatter but enough to get Yanjun (and a few others who looked on, interested) to turn around.

Yanjun just stared at Zhangjing with no expression, the shorter male trying a glare of his own.

“Zhangjing…” Zhengting said slowly. Zhangjing felt Linong tug Zhangjing’s sleeve, begging him quietly to just let it go.

“You bumped into someone, you know. I know you don’t talk enough to say sorry, but since you like looking at people so much, you can’t even look at Ziyi after you crash into him?” Zhangjing asked, eyes narrowing ever so slightly.

“Zhangjing.”

Zhangjing could feel a hand on his shoulder, a hand that he instantly recognized to belong to Ziyi. “It’s fine,” the junior said quietly, “Really. We have to get to class, okay?”

“It’s not fine,” Zhangjing responded, turning his head up to look at Ziyi, “He bumped into you like you owe him something.”

“It’s _fine_ ,” Ziyi repeated, this time turning Zhangjing to look at him.

“Zhangjing, we have to get to class, just leave it alone,” Linong agreed, nodding at Zhengting. Linong began to walk away in an attempt to help the situation, Zhengting following hesitantly.

“C’mon, Zhangjing. Really, it’s fine,” Ziyi said one final time, his hand still on his shoulder as he gently guided Zhangjing in the opposite direction of Lin Yanjun.

Yanjun didn’t move from his spot, still looking at Zhangjing as if he were expecting something to happen.

And Zhangjing allowed himself to be guided, huffing out in frustration. But before they turned the corner, he glanced back out of pure curiosity. Lin Yanjun was looking down at his phone, texting.

At that moment, Zhangjing could feel his phone buzz in his pocket.

 

\--

 

**_Chat with yanjun159_ **

 

**yanjun159**

When?

 

**azorayeet**

…when what

 

**yanjun159**

Do I come over.

To work on English.

 

**azorayeet**

oh

uh

idk. im busy this weekend tho

 

_Message read._

 

**_Group chat: “lin yanjun w/ a side of w h i p p e d cream”_ **

 

**azorayeet**

UM

EMERGENCY

 

**zhuzhengting**

FUCK ME

WTF

YOU JUST YELLED AT HIM AND HE

omg

 

**Bubbles**

why what happened

 

**NongNongSoup**

Can we not text in class?

 

**zhuzhengting**

nongnong, sweetie

this is a fucking emergency

this is so weird like how

is he human???

is this how he responds to threats??

 

**azorayeet**

fuck he just sent me another text brb

 

**_Chat with yanjun159_ **

 

**yanjun159**

Okay.

Monday after school.

 

**azorayeet**

ok

 

**_Group chat: “lin yanjun w/ a side of w h i p p e d cream”_ **

 

**azorayeet**

uh

he’s coming over

!!!!!!

Monday after school

!!!!!!!! TO MY HOUSE IN WHICH I LIVE ALONE IN

 

**zhuzhengting**

whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat the fuuuuuck

i literally have no explanation for him. wtf

is he a robot?

does he have human feelings?

he’s literally so werid

and so hot omg

 

**azorayeet**

ugh what the fuck

im still so annoyed at him for being so rude to ziyi but

at the same time

UGH what is wrong with me??? im such a bad friend

 

**_azorayeet changed Group Chat name to: “*cries in Taiwanese*”_ **

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapter wasn’t the most interesting! hopefully the next chapter will peak your interests. lets just say yanjun is an impatient boy :)))
> 
> this was kind of a longer chapter—what do yall prefer? longer chapters or more, shorter chapters? if a split a long chapter up it’d be updated within a couple days of each other.
> 
> comments are always appreciated and of course, ccw! especially since im really tired rn and i feel like i could have done some parts better in this chapter imo. just let me know!
> 
> app credit: Threads


	3. dimples

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> zhangjing discovers that lin yanjun has dimples

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! id first like to say thank you guys all so, so much for the kudos and the thoughtful comments. i go back to reread all of them once a day, they mean the world to me :)) it makes me so happy when people pick up on details and just sldkfjslkdjf thank you guys so much. im going to start replying to them all now, why I didn’t do that before idk.
> 
> also! people seem to prefer shorter chapters updated more frequently. I will try to do that as often as possible, which might be a little hard considering im starting college in two weeks. 
> 
> also I know I promised something biggish to happen this chapter but oops that had to get scrapped, that’s happening next chapter instead 
> 
> happy reading!! ccw as always :)

Zhangjing wasn’t sure how he was supposed to function the rest of that day.

Everything was a blur, really. Second block, lunch, third block—everything just blended together. It was all just a repeat of Zhangjing trying his best to not think about how this time next week, he would be freaking out because Yanjun would be coming over.

But at least he had a week to freak out over it.

When English rolled around, Zhangjing was ready. He had actually devised a plan—get Yanjun to one, speak to Zhangjing, and two, apologize for being such an ass to Ziyi.

In other words, he was fully preparing for his plan to at least half fail.

Zhangjing walked into his English classroom, and when he saw Yanjun sitting there once again, his plan engrained into his mind. He walked right over to him, the other boy only bothering to meet Zhangjing’s determined gaze when he was standing before his desk.

“Lin Yanjun,” Zhangjing began. _That sounded brave._ “You never apologized for this morning, you know.”

Yanjun tilted his head to the side, raising an eyebrow. Zhangjing took this as indication of the younger asking, _Why, whatever do you mean by that, Zhangjing?_

Zhangjing sighed. “Look. I’m sorry that we finished the lab without your input, okay? But that doesn’t mean you can be a jerk to Ziyi.”

“What are you talking about?” Yanjun replied, leaning forward in his seat. Zhangjing took a small step back in response, at a momentary loss for words.

Yanjun confused Zhangjing.

His feelings regarding Yanjun were more than mixed; Zhangjing was annoyed by the things he did (kicking his chair, leaving him on read, pushing his good friend), but he could just as easily forget about all of these the moment Yanjun looked up at him.

Zhangjing was only brought back into reality when he heard other students walking into the classroom, and Zhangjing quickly sat down in his own seat. The older refused to let this end their conversation, however.

Zhangjing turned around right in his seat, attempting to return a stare equivalent to the one Yanjun did so easily.

“What do you mean, what am I talking about? That doesn’t make any sense,” Zhangjing asked.

Yanjun blinked once. “I don’t care that the lab was finished without me.”

“Then why did you push Ziyi?” Zhangjing asked sharply.

At that moment, the bell rang, and Lin Yanjun had the _audacity_ to turn his gaze away from Zhangjing’s and towards the front of the room.

“Oh, so now you’re going to pay attention?” Zhangjing asked indignantly, finally turning around when he heard Ms. Choi stand from her desk, ready to begin class.

_It’s not like Lin Yanjun would have responded, anyways,_ Zhangjing thought to himself in frustration, taking his textbook from bookbag and placing it onto his desk with a little more force than necessary.

A lot of AP English was busy work to most people; however, Zhangjing took every journal prompt and every essay thrown his way very seriously. Zhangjing knew that he didn’t have to dedicate so much thought and concentration into getting good AP scores, as he would (hopefully) already been accepted into a college before he even took them.

It was just hard to break the mindset, Zhangjing supposed as he flipped through the pages of his textbook vigorously, attempting to find _the_ perfect quote from the poem to use as his second supportive example for his third body paragraph.

When the bell rang, they were to turn in their practice essays, finished or not. Zhangjing was among the last to turn his own, reading it over countless of times on the way to the front of the classroom.

“What’s this at the top?” Ms. Choi asked Zhangjing as he handed his in, pointing to the timestamps written at the top of his lined notebook paper.

“I timed myself,” Zhangjing said with a little smile, “I know we only have two hours for the free response section, so I’ve been trying to keep every essay to around forty minutes.”

“That’s very thoughtful of you, Zhangjing,” Ms. Choi beamed, setting his papers on top of the others. “You could share your insightfulness with a certain someone sitting behind you.”

Ms. Choi subtly tilted her head towards the back of the room, Zhangjing turning to look. There was Yanjun, still sitting in his seat.

Class had ended, yet Yanjun was still there.

Zhangjing went back to his seat, packing his things into his bag. And as he was zipping up his bookbag, Yanjun stood to his feet.

Zhangjing stopped mid-zip, looking up at the boy that now stood taller than him. Yanjun just kept standing there, as if he were waiting for Zhangjing.

“Uh, can I help you?” Zhangjing asked uncertainly. Yanjun just knitted his eyebrows together.

“Did you forget that I’m coming over? To your house?” Yanjun asked slowly.

Zhangjing blinked in confusion, tempted to dig into his pockets and check over their text messages from previously that day. “You said Monday, though.”

“Today is Monday.”

Zhangjing opened his mouth, tempted to snap at Lin Yanjun, _I know what day it is, Lin Yanjun_ , before promptly shutting it. He decided on a calmer route. “… I thought you meant next Monday. Why didn’t you just say today?”

“I was referring to every Monday,” Yanjun responded plainly. Zhangjing blinked a couple more times to take it all in.

_this boy wants to visit my house once a week—_

“Are you busy today?” Yanjun asked, and Zhangjing quickly shook his head on instinct.

“No, I just, I guess…” _I guess I misunderstood,_ Zhangjing almost said, but he didn’t misunderstand. It wasn’t Zhangjing’s fault that Yanjun didn’t know how to talk to people.

Zhangjing huffed, zipping up his bookbag and slinging it over his shoulder hastily. “It was just unexpected. I have to run to my locker, then we can head to my place. It’s a fifteen-minute walk.”

Yanjun just nodded, which honestly was a bigger response than Zhangjing was expecting. Zhangjing bit down on his bottom lip, turning to leave the classroom, Yanjun following behind him.

The shorter boy was currently undergoing a small emotional crisis. His place was super messy, and super gross at the moment.

It also didn’t really help that Ms. Choi gave Zhangjing this knowing look on their way out, and he could have sworn that she winked right as he walked out the door.

No more words were exchanged on their trip to Zhangjing’s locker, or even on the way out of the school. Zhangjing was beginning to worry that he was about to endure a painfully awkward fifteen-minute walk home until Yanjun actually spoke up.

“You don’t have a car?” Yanjun asked, stopping right at the front entrance to the school. Zhangjing stopped as well, shaking his head with a sheepish, embarrassed smile.

“No… I actually can’t even drive,” Zhangjing admitted, shifting uncomfortably, “I’m… scared I’ll get in a car accident, so I just never bothered.”

“I have a car. Come on.” Yanjun didn’t really say this as an offering, more of as a statement of what was going down. The younger boy turned, and just began to walk towards the student parking lot.

And Zhangjing followed him.

Zhangjing wasn’t surprised to see that Yanjun’s car was black, but he _was_ surprised to see how nice it was. He was almost a little hesitant to get in, only getting in after Yanjun did.

While Zhangjing knew absolutely nothing about cars, Yanjun’s was obviously a very good one. The seats were leather, the interior smelled fresh, and there was even a back-up camera.

_Is everyone in this school rich but me?_ Zhangjing wondered vaguely as he buckled himself into the passenger seat, his book bag tucked in between his knees.

The only conversation made during the brief car ride was Zhangjing telling Yanjun where to turn. What was usually a fifteen-minute trip for Zhangjing every day was now a three-minute drive.

“This will be the first time I ever used the parking spot that came with the apartment,” Zhangjing noted when Yanjun pulled into the apartment complex parking lot. The younger boy was an unexpectedly good driver; for some reason, this fact just made Yanjun seem even more alluring.

Yanjun just nodded once, eyes straight ahead and focused on the road. As if Yanjun were taking extra care to drive safely, as if Yanjun could see how uneasy Zhangjing was around cars.

If Zhangjing was going to whipped against his will, he was glad that there were some good qualities on Yanjun’s list of personality traits.

 

\--

 

“So, welcome to my humble abode,” Zhangjing announced as he opened the door to his apartment. Zhangjing actually quite liked his small apartment. The entrance door stood before a petite, carpeted living room, complete with a flat-screen television, a cute rectangular coffee table surrounded by a collection of mismatched couches and armchairs.

Straight ahead was the kitchen, sleek and simple. Zhangjing was fortunate enough to have a lot of counter space for the kitchen of its size; this made baking less of a hassle and more of a stress reliever. Tucked away in the small hallway were three doors: a guest room, a bathroom, and Zhangjing’s bedroom.

Zhangjing’s eyes scoped across the room, every misplaced item glaring out at him. He noticed his dishes from last night piled in the sink, and he kicked off his shoes, immediately rushing over to go clean them up.

“I’m sorry for the mess,” Zhangjing smiled awkwardly, looking at the younger boy still standing in the entrance doorway, “I didn’t expect anyone to come over.”

Yanjun just took off his own shoes, shutting the door behind him.

_oh my god he’s officially in my house_ “I swear I’m not this always this messy,” Zhangjing promised, opening the dishwasher, beginning to put away dishes.

“You live alone,” Yanjun stated. He wasn’t asking a question.

Zhangjing nodded once, looking up at him after carefully placing his favorite mug in the top rack. “Yeah, my aunt… She works far away, and she couldn’t move away from her job, but she wanted me to go to the best school she could find, so she just… paid for an apartment closer to our school for me to live in, and…”

Zhangjing trailed off, figuring that he probably shouldn’t be revealing his life story to someone who most likely couldn’t care less. But when Zhangjing glanced up to look at Yanjun’s face, he was met with a look of interest, his eyebrows raised slightly.

“I don’t invite people over a lot, you know,” Zhangjing continued, attempting to use a more lighthearted tone, “So feel special.”

He was being honest. Zhangjing usually only had Zhengting, Linong, Justin, and Chengcheng over. There was a reason why Zhangjing always went to Ziyi’s house to do their lab reports.

But with Yanjun, Zhangjing was pretty sure that he didn’t have to worry about having to answer too many questions.

“Just give me a second,” Zhangjing hummed, placing the last couple plates in the bottom rack before closing the washing machine, “And done. Sorry again.”

Yanjun had wandered into the living room, looking around curiously, almost with a _is this all?_ kind of attitude.

“I keep the place simple. Less to clean up after,” Zhangjing attempted to explain, drying off his hands and hurrying out of the kitchen. “My room’s just right here, we can work in there.”

And so they did. And after the two of them were settled down, it was honestly probably the strangest situation that Zhangjing had ever been in in his life.

Zhangjing’s room, like his apartment, was small but spacious, with nothing but a bed pushed against the wall, a desk against the wall parallel, a dresser next to the door, and a closet. Yanjun sat at his desk besides Zhangjing, the older boy on his laptop, similar to that research day in the library.

The situation was so _ordinary_ that it was just incredibly weird. Yanjun wasn’t a normal person. Yet here he was, doing normal person things.

“So, I think I decided on a topic,” Zhangjing began awkwardly, “I want to research dreams. I think it’s an interesting enough topic that we ourselves won’t lose interest in it, and when we present, some of the class might actually pay attention.”

Zhangjing gave Yanjun a side-glance, checking his expression for an opinion. As always, Yanjun remained indifferent. Zhangjing chose to interpret this as a positive.

“But I don’t really have a thesis yet. I was hoping that we could work on that today,” Zhangjing continued, opening up a folder in his bookmarks, “I bookmarked some helpful pages on dreams to get us started, and since I’m in AP Psychology, I know we’re going to cover dreams later on in the year, too.”

“What’s that?” Yanjun asked instead, indicating to one of the websites Zhangjing had bookmarked.

Zhangjing was beginning to wonder if Yanjun really didn’t know how to converse like a normal person, or if he just didn’t care and never listened.

“Oh… this one?” Zhangjing hovered over one bookmark that he had named, “Reoccurring dreams, trauma” with his mouse. The shorter attempted another smile. “Just an interesting article. It talks about how people who experience trauma can have reoccurring dreams relating to that.”

Yanjun nodded once, leaning forward with his elbows rested on the table. Like the last time conducting research, Yanjun was once again sitting rather close to Zhangjing. Unlike last time, however, Yanjun was in such close proximities that Zhangjing had a hard time believing that Yanjun was completely oblivious to the way it affected the older.

“L-. Let’s just get started,” Zhangjing managed out.

Ten minutes passed with no incident; Zhangjing took notes, switched between tabs, and Yanjun sat and watched. Then, to Zhangjing’s absolute shock, Yanjun spoke up—

“Can I see really quick?” asked Yanjun.

Zhangjing just paused, frozen for a solid second before nodding, pushing the laptop towards Yanjun. The younger read over the notes that Zhangjing had been taking.

“You wrote that dreams occur in the same stage that sleep talking does. It said on the website that dreams occur in REM sleep,” Yanjun said plainly.

Zhangjing blinked at the younger boy, shock clear in his expression. Suddenly, Zhangjing thinks back to Zhengting’s words in the group chat from the week before.

_Lin Yanjun has a brain._

“Yeah, that’s what I wrote, too,” Zhangjing finally responded.

“But the body is paralyzed in REM sleep. Sleep talking should be impossible,” Yanjun said.

Zhangjing gave this a moment’s thought, before moving his laptop closer to himself again and clicking open the website. On the website, it stated plainly that the body was indeed paralyzed during REM sleep. Zhangjing must have misread something.

Yanjun was paying attention to what Zhangjing was doing, Zhangjing realized.

“Ah… I see,” Zhangjing said, going back into his notes and editing that section. “Thank you. I must have misread it.”

After he edited his notes, Zhangjing continued with his notes. Lin Yanjun didn’t speak up for the rest of the hour.

At four-fifteen sharp, Yanjun stood up. Zhangjing looked up, mildly started at the sudden movements, before standing to his feet too.

“Do you have to leave?” Zhangjing asked. Yanjun nodded curtly. Zhangjing followed Yanjun out of his room and to the door, and the younger boy left his apartment without looking back once.

And then he was gone. Only then, of course, did Zhangjing realize that he never once offered Yanjun something to drink.

Zhangjing figured he’d have a hard time concentrating on his homework, tonight.

 

\--

 

**_Group Chat: “*cries in Taiwanese*”_ **

 

**azorayeet**

so lin yanjun was at my house today

 

**pigzhengting**

sister scuse me?

 

**iBlowBubbles**

don’t say that

 

**pigzhengting**

excuse ME

wtf do u mean he was at ur house???

 

**iBlowBubbles**

i thought you said that he said next monday?

 

**azorayeet**

don’t get excited, nothing happened

 

**pigzhengting**

sigh. tea is cold

 

**NongNongSoup**

But you like drinking bubble tea cold, ge! :P

 

**azorayeet**

it was just weird. having him

like in my house

yknow?

 

**Bubbles**

and he didn’t ask you why you live alone

 

**NongNongSoup**

I doubt he even talked a lot

I find a few things weird, though

 

**azorayeet**

what

 

**iBlowBubbles**

yea wat

 

**NongNongSoup**

1)He didn’t offer you to come over to his place

2)He invited himself to your house

3)You actually let him into your house when he invited himself.

 

**iBlowBubbles**

i already told yall

zhangjing will become a thottie for leather clad hotties

 

**azorayeet**

at least i don’t blow bubbles

 

**Bubbles**

hey :(

 

**pigzhengting**

also, zhangjing:

kunkun just told me that he would like to have a few words with u

ur available in the mornings before school rite

 

**azorayeet**

wait why

but yeah i am

 

**pigzhengting**

idk he just wants to

it’s probably about lyj tho

 

**azorayeet**

oh joy

 

\--

 

Yanjun wasn’t in school the next day.

Zhangjing didn’t even have to wait until Chemistry to figure this out. It was actually the first thing that came out of Cai Xukun’s mouth when the junior class president met with Zhangjing early that morning. Zhengting had told Zhangjing to wait for him by the staircase next to the cafeteria.

“Lin Yanjun isn’t in school today,” Cai Xukun mentioned casually the moment he walked up to the shorter boy, cutting off Zhangjing’s _Good morning._

“He isn’t? I feel like that shouldn’t be too big of a surprise, though,” Zhangjing said thoughtfully, “And how do you already know? He could be late.”

“For the past few days he’s been coming to school actually quite early,” Xukun said, “Zhengting might have already told you, but I just want to ask some questions about him.”

“Yeah, he figured it would be about him…” Zhangjing said slowly, his eyes suddenly landing on a dark love bite on Xukun’s collarbone.

“It’s just that he’s a blemish on our entire class,” Xukun said rather indignantly, bringing Zhangjing’s gaze back up to Xukun’s, “I know the Class Attendance Award doesn’t mean anything to a lot of people, but since our class won the past two years, I’d like to keep the streak.”

“So then what do you want me to do about it?” Zhangjing asked.

“Well, besides Zhu Xingjie, you’re really the only person who knows anything about him,” Xukun said. Zhangjing snorted.

“Who said I know anything about him? He hardly talks to me.”

“Well, I know that you’re partners with him for your English assignment. Zhengting is partners with Wenjun now,” Xukun added, pursing his lips a little, looking rather bothered by this fact.

“So, what?”

“Just tell him to come to school or something,” Xukun shrugged, running a hand through his hair.

“Uh… Okay. I can do that. I can try,” Zhangjing said, hoping his voice showed more confidence than he felt. He wasn’t sure how telling Yanjun to do anything would work out.

“Great,” Xukun smiled at Zhangjing, “I guess I’ll see you at Zhengting’s party this Friday, then.”

Zhangjing nodded. In all honesty, with everything going on with his life recently, he had completely forgotten about Zhengting’s Halloween party that Friday.

Xukun began to walk away, until Zhangjing suddenly realized something.

“Wait,” Zhangjing said, the younger boy turning to look back at him. “What does Zhu Xingjie know about Lin Yanjun?”

 

\--

 

Without Lin Yanjun, the day passed far too plainly.

That day’s Chemistry class was ordinary, as was Government. There was nothing worth being distracted over. Zhangjing didn’t know what his life was like a week ago, before he knew who Lin Yanjun was. It was probably a lot less nerve wracking, though.

But Zhangjing did have lunch to look forward to. And this time, it wasn’t because of the food.

While Zhangjing has indeed spoken to Zhu Xingjie before, it wasn’t something he did often. He knew Linkai well, but Linkai for the most part was a normal student. Xingjie, Zhangjing knew, dipped into shady things every once in a while.

Xingjie and his group of friends sat outside for lunch. It was kind of _their_ place; despite there being multiple lunch tables in the small courtyard next to the cafeteria, no one else sat outside out of respect.

Thankfully, Zhangjing managed to catch Xingjie just as he was heading outside, sparing the brunette the embarrassment of trying to separate him from his clique.

“Oh, hey, Zhangjing. What’s up?” Xingjie asked casually, stopping outside the door. Through the glass doors, Zhangjing could see Linkai and Bu Fan sitting at their table already, looking at Zhangjing and Xingjie curiously.

“I was talking to Cai Xukun this morning, and he said you might actually know something about Lin Yanjun?” Zhangjing asked innocently. Xingjie raised his eyebrows.

“Lin Yanjun? I mean… Why?” Xingjie said instead. “I don’t really know him. I just… how do I say this?”

Xingjie made a small _tch_ noise with his lips, looking up to the side in thought. “I know the people he hangs around with. I knew of him before he came to this school.”

“Do you mean that you know his friends?” asked Zhangjing.

“His friends?” The other senior scoffed a little, shrugging a little, his dangling ear piercings swinging with the movement. “Yeah, I guess I do know his friends. But I can’t say that I don’t find this curious. Your interest in him, I mean.”

“Well, I’m partners with him for English, and he left my place early yesterday, and he’s also not here today, so I’m just… Wondering,” Zhangjing quickly said, trying his best to come off as casual.

“Yeah, I figured he wouldn’t be here today. Did he leave your place—which, by the way, I can’t believe he was at your place—yesterday around four?” Xingjie asked.

“He did,” Zhangjing confirmed, surprised, “How did you know that?”

“I already told you. I know his friends,” Xingjie grinned, “But I was about to say, I can’t imagine why someone like you is so invested in this kind of stuff.”

“I… I just want to get a good grade on our English project,” Zhangjing said, not exactly lying. He was just using this small truth to save him from the embarrassment that came from the main reason.

Xingjie chuckled a little at this. “That’s about the response I expected from you. He should be back tomorrow. The ha-… What he’s doing usually only takes a day.”

Zhangjing wasn’t sure how he felt about being treated as some innocent child who couldn’t have his ears spoiled, but he nodded in gratitude anyways. “Okay, that’s good to hear. Thanks, Xingjie.”

Xingjie nodded, turning and heading outside. When Zhangjing went back to his own lunch table, Zhengting leaned forward, a curious look on his face as the shorter sat across from him.

“Why were you talking to Xingjie?” he asked. Zhangjing pursed his lips, knowing what response to expect from his friends when he told them the reason why.

“I wanted to know why Lin Yanjun wasn’t in school today. Xukun mentioned Xingjie knowing things about him when we were talking this morning,” Zhangjing said.

“Speaking of Xukun,” Chengcheng said next to Zhengting, pressing his fingers to Zhengting’s neck, “Is this concealer?”

Zhengting pushed the sophomore’s hand away, ignoring him. “Of course you were asking about Yanjun. Well, what did he say?”

“I actually don’t really know. He was keeping a lot of things pretty vague,” Zhangjing said, looking down at his lunch that he had abandoned five minutes ago to go speak to Xingjie. His chicken fingers were now only moderately warm.

“It’s probably nothing worth asking about, then,” Linong concluded, looking at the senior besides him. Zhangjing just nodded, even if he knew that there was something else. There was a good reason that Xingjie wasn’t telling Zhangjing anything.

“I guess,” Zhangjing said. And then Justin began to complain about his biology teacher, and that was the end of all Lin Yanjun talk.

And even though Zhangjing was just as equally involved in discussing whether Dr. Cheng had something against specifically Justin, Lin Yanjun remained in the back of his mind.

 

\--

 

Xingjie must have definitely known what he was talking about, because Lin Yanjun was indeed back in school the next day. Unfortunately, there wouldn’t be another lab for a week in Chemistry, so Zhangjing wasn’t able to even sit near Yanjun first block. He did, however, steal a few glances back at him; Yanjun seemed inattentive and uninvolved as always, never once sparing a glance at the board.

_There’s always English class,_ Zhangjing figured. It was Wednesday, as well—a research day in the library.

When fourth block came, everyone automatically went to the library as per instructions from Ms. Choi. When Zhangjing arrived, Yanjun was early as usual, sitting at the same secluded table as he had decided on last time.

Zhangjing actually attempted a smile at Yanjun when the younger boy looked up at him. Yanjun, of course, didn’t return it, but the look in his eyes wasn’t unkind.

Research was conducted as normal: Zhangjing on his laptop and Yanjun besides him. Zhangjing made sure to be extra careful reading, as to avoid any other corrections from the junior besides him.

“Oh! I forgot… I’m so stupid. I think I came up with a thesis,” Zhangjing suddenly remembered, quickly opening another document, “I came up with it after you left yesterday.”

Yanjun sat up in his seat, leaning forward to read the rather length thesis. There was a pause of thirty seconds before Yanjun spoke.

“Could I?” Yanjun asked simply, looking down at the laptop. Zhangjing nodded, pushing it in his direction.

And Yanjun began to type away, editing the thesis.

_Lin Yanjun is doing work_ , Zhangjing said to himself, watching the younger boy in awe.

Zhangjing was so mesmerized that he didn’t even realize the words that were coming out of his mouth.

“By the way,” Zhangjing began as Yanjun was in the middle of fixing a comma splice that Zhangjing somehow missed, “Why did you have to leave so suddenly on Monday?”

Yanjun stopped typing and turned his head to look at Zhangjing. The shorter boy’s eyes widened, panicking slightly.

“I-. I’m just wondering. Xingjie told me that… it had something to do with why you weren’t here yesterday, and I was just… curious…” Zhangjing attempted, Yanjun continuing to look at him.

_God I’m such an idiot why did I say any of that?_

Yanjun was quiet for a few more seconds, and then he smiled, ever so slightly.

Lin Yanjun smiled.

Lin Yanjun had _dimples_.

“You’re cute,” Yanjun said simply, turning his attention back to the laptop and continuing to edit.

Zhangjing’s brain froze for a moment. There was an overload of information.

At his words, Zhangjing’s heart immediately lurched downwards into his stomach, his face heating up so quickly that he was immensely grateful that Yanjun wasn’t looking at him.

Yanjun just kept editing his stupid thesis, leaving Zhangjing’s head swimming with those two words, leaving the image of soft dimples behind his eyes every time he blinked.

And then Yanjun finished, pushing the laptop back towards Zhangjing and leaning back in his seat again. If he was looking at Zhangjing this time, the shorter had no idea, because he kept his eyes glued onto his laptop, completely unable to make eye contact after that.

Zhangjing had to do with his stupid heart beating stupidly fast for the rest of the block. When the end of the block rolled around, Zhangjing had never been more thankful for Yanjun’s abrupt departures.

The younger left quickly, as usual, except this time, before he could turn out of view, he looked back at Zhangjing, his eyes locking with his right before he disappeared into the maze of bookshelves.

Zhangjing’s phone buzzed in his pocket, and he didn’t even register the sensation for a solid ten seconds.

_Lin Yanjun has dimples._

\--

 

**_Chat with w.booyi_ **

 

**w.booyi**

Hey zhangjing

Do you think we could talk after school?

I can wait by your locker

 

**azorayeet**

oh sure ziyi!

what’s up

 

**w.booyi**

I can tell you when you get here

:)

 

**azorayeet**

oh, okay

be down in a bit

 

\--

 

 

“Hey, Zhangjing,” Ziyi smiled as he saw the shorter boy rounding the corner of the hallway. As promised, Ziyi was waiting besides his locker. Zhangjing grinned, attempting to hide the fact that his heart was currently still running marathons in his chest.

“Hey, Ziyi, what’s up?” Zhangjing said, opening his locker and getting his Chemistry textbook, “Did you want to talk about the Chemistry lesson today?”

“No, actually,” Ziyi said slowly, “It’s actually about Lin Yanjun.”

Zhangjing paused, looking up at the taller junior. Ziyi grimaced a little, the expression strange on Ziyi’s usually cheery face.  

“I was talking to Xukun, and he kind of agrees, and just… In general, he probably isn’t the best person to hang around.”

If Zhangjing didn’t know better, he would have said that there was a certain _tone_ to Ziyi’s voice. Ziyi was always very caring, putting emphasis on Zhangjing’s well being a lot. He stuck up for Zhangjing, and smiled at him like Zhangjing put the sun in the sky.

If Zhangjing didn’t know better, he would have gone as far to say that the tone in Ziyi’s voice was one of protectiveness.

“Well, I don’t really hang around him. He just came over to my place to work on English once,” Zhangjing reasoned, and as soon as he said this he regretted it. Zhangjing never invited Ziyi to his place to work on school work, and Ziyi knew enough about Zhangjing’s personal life to guess why. At this bit of information, Ziyi furrowed his eyebrows together, a little bothered by this.

“I trust you, Zhangjing. But I just wanted to say, during second block, I overheard Xingjie talking to Linkai about you asking about Yanjun. I didn’t hear everything, but I think I heard enough to just tell you to not get too close with him,” Ziyi said, watching Zhangjing’s expression carefully.

As an attempt to break tension, a small smile spread over Ziyi’s lips, the younger lightly nudging Zhangjing’s shoulder with his closed fist.

“Don’t inherit his bad student characteristics. It’s your last year of being my lab partner, you know. I’m still counting on you.”

“What, are you expecting me to start skipping every other day?” Zhangjing grinned, laughing a little. He put his Chemistry textbook into his bookbag, slinging it over his shoulder.

“I’ll try not to adapt Lin Yanjun’s attendance infrequences,” Zhangjing assured Ziyi.

“That’s good to hear. You’re coming to Zhengting’s party on Friday, right?”

“Ugh,” Zhangjing groaned, “I haven’t even picked a costume yet.”

“Hmm… Go with a cuter route. I think it’d suit you,” Ziyi advised. Just the mention of the word _cute_ instantly made Zhangjing think back to that moment just half an hour ago in the library, sending another blush across Zhangjing’s cheeks.

“Thanks, Ziyi. I’ll see you then,” Zhangjing smiled, quickly turning to leave before the younger could misinterpret anything. It was usually something he wouldn’t have to worry about, but after that conversation, Zhangjing just sensed something.

Zhangjing tried to convince himself of what he was trying to convince himself regarding a very specific comment from Lin Yanjun:

_I’m just overthinking it._


	4. big k

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> zhangjing shouldnt ever text people while he's drunk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so so sorry for the late update!! i just traveled back from taiwan and jet lag is kicking my ass. also im starting college next week so i have no idea what my upload schedule will be like so im ready to suffer :))) please be patient with me! You guys are the best <3
> 
> Things to Pretend With Me On:  
> -pretend with me that halloween comes on a Friday sometime soon  
> -also pretend with me that the drinking age is universally 18 :)  
> note: i do not own harry potter

**_pigzhengting created a Group Chat: “pumpkin sisters”_ **

 

**pigzhengting**

hello everyone and welcome to our halloween party groupchat :)

as u all know ur all invited to my small, humble party

i would like to set a few ground rules

one- WEAR A COSTUME

two- IF U DON’T WEAR A COSTUME UR BANNED

that’s all :)

 

**Bubbles**

wtf

this is a pumpkin carving party

 

**pigzhengting**

don’t :) question :) me :)

i :) want :) us :) to :) look :) cute :)

 

**iBlowBubbles**

question

 

**pigzhengting**

we aren’t going trick or treating

 

**iBlowBubbles**

this is fucking bullshit

 

**Kun**

cnt wait babe ;)

wait is this a grpcht

 

**Bubbles**

ew

 

**azorayeet**

i don’t even have a costume yet

 

**NongNongSoup**

Gasp! Zhangjing not being prepared, shocking :P

 

**w.booyi**

Aw zhangjing you didn’t think about my recommendation?

Also bro do we have to tell you what we’re going as @pigzhengting?

 

**pigzhengting**

nah lol just show up in a costume

message: a costume is NOT writing what ur supposed to be on a sticky note and sticking it to ur chest

 

**Bubbles**

stop coming for my fucking brand

 

**Kun**

cn i wear wat i wor 2 ur prty last year

 

 

**_Group Chat: “*cries in Taiwanese*”_ **

 

**Bubbles**

why the fuck can’t xukun type

 

**iBlowBubbles**

does his keyboard not have vowels or something?

he types like a seizure prone giraffe

 

**Bubbles**

LMAOOOOOOOOO

 

**NongNongSoup**

I just think it’s funny that he’s class president but he types so badly XD

 

**pigzhengting**

can yall shut up?

 

**azorayeet**

idk what to go as

do you guys all have costumes yet

**NongNongSoup**

Yes

 

**iBlowBubbles**

ya

 

**Bubbles**

yeah

 

**pigzhengting**

ugh zhangjing it was like this last year too

just

a deer. go as a deer

okay?

 

**azorayeet**

wtf

 

**pigzhengting**

no questions or arguments, otherwise we’ll be here for 30 years

 

 

**_Group Chat: “pumpkin sisters”_ **

 

**pigzhengting**

no u cannot wear what u wore last year xx sorry boo no exceptions

my place at seven! does anyone need my address

 

**Kun**

no

 

**Bubbles**

E

W

 

\--

 

Zhangjing went to Zhengting’s Halloween party dressed as a deer.

Well, not exactly. He decided to modify Zhengting’s idea and instead dress as Chopper from One Piece, since he used to be obsessed with the anime when he was younger and actually had one of Chopper’s hats in the back of his closet.

Zhangjing didn’t exactly have any better option, and the makeup was easy enough to do.

“Oh, look how _cute_!” Zhengting gushed at the shorter boy as he opened the door to his house mere seconds after Zhangjing rang the doorbell. Zhangjing stuck his tongue out at him. Zhengting himself seemed to be dressed as Marilyn Monroe, and Zhangjing had learned by now not to question him.

“I altered your idea.”

“I honestly love this. Did you draw on eyelashes?” Zhengting leaned into Zhangjing’s face, and Zhangjing took the time to observe Zhengting’s perfectly applied makeup.

“Uh, yeah.”

“Well, get your cute ass in here, everyone’s already here,” Zhengting hummed, closing the large double doors behind Zhangjing as he entered. Zhengting’s house was so big that it had an entrance hall; the ceiling was so tall it could have been a mile high, and every time Zhangjing came over to Zhengting’s place he was always afraid that the giant crystal chandelier hanging above them would come crashing down.

“I mean, I’m just glad it wasn’t the huge party it was last year,” Zhangjing smiled as he followed Zhengting through the mansion. “I swear there were hundreds of people here…”

“Well yeah, that’s what happens when you invite half the school. But my mom freaked out because Wenjun threw up into the vase in the master bedroom, so a big party like that will have to hold off until Christmas,” Zhengting shrugged.

“Finally!” Chengcheng exclaimed when he saw Zhangjing and Zhengting arrive in the kitchen. The sophomore was currently sitting on the floor next to the kitchen table, surrounded by enormous pumpkins, and wearing a Snow White costume that looked to be suspiciously last minute.

“And now we can get started!” Zhengting smiled widely, skipping gracefully around the kitchen island, where many pumpkin-carving tools were laid out for viewing.

Everyone else was sitting at the kitchen table talking and laughing. It actually took Zhangjing a moment to recognize everyone. V from V for Vendetta, Sasuke, and Prince Charming—Xukun, Linong, and Ziyi respectively—seemed to be heavily involved in discussion. Ziyi noticed Zhangjing looking and smiled at him warmly.

Justin was slumped over the table. Zhangjing _assumed_ it was Justin—it was either a little girl wearing a red dress with two buns on top of her head, or Justin in a wig.

“Justin, if you mess up that makeup I put on you-!” Zhengting began sharply. Justin poked his head up, pouting.

“These lashes are heavy, they’re weighing my face down!” Justin complained, “How come you gave me a full face of makeup but Xukun only needed three black lines?”

“Hey,” Xukun said, touching a hand up to his (rather poorly) drawn-on goatee and mustache.

“Justin, stop complaining,” Zhengting said, sending an apologetic look over at Xukun. Zhengting tapped something on his phone, and immediately, trap remix music began blasting over the Bluetooth speakers embedded in the ceiling.

_Spooky, scary skeletons, send shivers down your spine—_

“Let’s pick pumpkins!” Zhengting said over the music.

After a small argument between Chengcheng and Justin over who would get the weirdly shaped pumpkin (Xukun took it in the end), the seven of them stood around the kitchen table, gutting out their giant pumpkins.

“So you did end up taking my advice,” Ziyi said casually from besides Zhangjing. Zhangjing glanced up at him, Ziyi giving him a little smile.

“What?”

“About the costume. You look cute,” Ziyi said, “The makeup looks cute.”

Ziyi reached forward and touched Zhangjing’s nose, which he had colored in blue. “Especially your nose.”

Zhangjing smiled up at him sheepishly. “Thanks.”

It took all of Zhangjing’s willpower to not kick Linong and Justin from under the table at the not-at-all-subtle kissy faces they were giving him.

“This is hard,” Zhengting moaned just five minutes into cutting out his design. He seemed to be going for some kind of intricate design, judging by the reference picture on his phone. “I need a drink. Justin, you’re closer to the fridge, can you grab-?”

“No way. Make Johnny Depp get it,” Justin said, “I’m literally so busy right now—shit.” Justin fumbled with his knife, accidentally plunging it too far into the pumpkin and breaking the blade off.

“Is he talking about me?” Xukun asked Zhengting, who just patted his arm.

“I’ll get it,” Linong offered, to which Zhengting smiled graciously.

“ _Thank_ you, Nongnong.”

“Yeah, thanks Emo Naruto, really making a difference in the world. Can you grab me another stabby tool off the counter while you’re at it?” asked Justin.

When Linong returned with Zhengting’s drink and Justin’s third carving knife, Zhengting took a long swig and handed it to Zhangjing, offering a sip.

“Ah,” Zhangjing said as he gingerly took the can, checking for the tell-tale percentage sign before handing it back to Zhengting. “No thanks.”

Zhengting looked at him weirdly. “What? I promise it’s not strong. It tastes mostly like strawberries, promise.”

“No, it’s just,” Zhangjing said, trying to focus on cutting out the nose of his pumpkin, “I’ve never drank before, and I don’t want to just take sips of things I’m not familiar with, you know?”

“Shut up,” Zhengting said, immediately setting down the drink, “You Zhangjing, your birthday was more than a month ago and you haven’t drunken alcohol yet?”

“I figured that I’d just drink for the first time at a party or something-” Zhangjing began, but Zhengting didn’t even let him finish.

“Absolutely _not_!” Zhengting said loudly. All side conversations had now gone mute, interrupted by Zhengting’s sharp yell. “You don’t drink for the first time at a party where people can take advantage of you, idiot, you do it with people like us!”

“ _I’ll_ have that sip of your drink, Zhengting,” Chengcheng said, reaching for it. Zhengting slapped his hand away.

“You know…” Zhengting began slowly, beginning to smile at everyone. Zhangjing looked up to see most of everyone sharing the same grin, Ziyi looking a little concerned.

“I think we should take a short break.”

In three short minutes, the party had moved to the kitchen island, Zhangjing sat on one of the stools, Zhengting standing across the counter from him, mixing up some kind of drink. Everyone else was standing around the island, anticipating.

“How did I know that this wouldn’t be just a pumpkin carving party?” Chengcheng said, nonetheless looking amused.

“We’re doing this because I’m scared that Zhangjing will do something stupid and drink for the first time around someone who isn’t me. Also, I totally want to take a video of this,” Zhengting said all in one breath, vigorously shaking a drink up.

“You know you don’t have to drink, right?” Ziyi asked, standing besides Zhangjing once more. Zhangjing smiled, albeit nervously, up at Ziyi.

 “It’s okay. I’m pretty sure I can handle one drink.”

“Oh honey,” Zhengting said, sliding a dark purple drink at him in a short, fat glass. Zhengting had stuffed a lot of fruit into the drink, perhaps to make it more appetizing. “One of three.”

“Oh joy,” Zhangjing murmured, bringing the glass to his lips. Both Linong and Xukun had their phones out, fully intending on recording every second.

The taste was strong, _very_ strong. The bitterness was paired with a sweetness, obviously a sweetener that Zhengting had mixed in. But Zhangjing liked the taste. It was playful, fruity, and just _delightful._

Just thirty minutes later, Zhangjing was _gone_.

It was as if his frontal lobe was on autopilot. Words just swam around in his head, hitting against the walls of his skull and sliding down to his tongue and out his mouth.

He felt wonderful. Everything was great. And everyone was just so, so nice.

“I, I just think it’s so great because Zhengting you’re just such a good friend and I don’t know how to deal with that,” Zhangjing slurred out all in one breath, nearly falling out of his stool. Ziyi caught him, pushing him back and holding onto his shoulders to stabilize him.

“I know, boo,” Zhengting smiled.

Everyone is _so nice._

“And it’s like, you never let anything get in the way of us you know like you’re just so, so _so_ nice to me always and you put me and Justin and Cheng first, even though you’re totally obsessed with Cai Xukun and it’s like, I know this isn’t even the first time he’s seen you in a dress? I love you sooo much.” Zhangjing tried slumping down onto the counter, held up by Ziyi again.

“I’m going to just say no comment,” Xukun said, still holding his phone to record, “Now Zhangjing. Ziyi, Nongnong and I were having a little discussion earlier. I was wondering if you could settle this.”

“Oh my god of course I could,” Zhangjing said confidently, hiccupping.

“So _I_ think that I would be a Gryffindor. You know, Harry Potter. But Ziyi and Linong think that Slytherin—”

“Harry Potter has a scar! Do you know who else has a scar? Lin Yanjun,” Zhangjing immediately transitioned, suddenly sitting up very straight, “Lin Yanjun is soooooooo so so so so so so hot. So hot.”

And then Chengcheng is laughing, and some other things are going on that aren’t really important to Zhangjing. Why is Ziyi looking at him like that? All Zhangjing can see is his phone that Zhengting had confiscated, citing his own experiences of texting his exes when he was drunk.

But Zhangjing was like, really confident right now.

He could totally text Lin Yanjun right now.

So Zhangjing lunges over the counter, nabs his phone and _books_ it to the nearest bathroom.

He makes it there and promptly slams the door in Zhengting and Linong’s face, and soon he’s pretty sure that everyone is banging on the door and trying to get him to _open the goddamn door, You Zhangjing I swear to God when I find the key I will hurt you_.

Zhangjing just sits down on the floor and opens up his chatting app, and he’s ready to have a good time.

 

\--

****

**_Chat with yanjun159_ **

 

**azorayeet**

lin

yanjun

hi

i knoooow ur reading these antd honesty that’s juust so rood like respond to me pls

so like remember when you called me cute?

so like

whatd oes that mean

like define cute pls i nede answrs

do yu thinki m cute?

??

holy shit what the fuck did zhengtingpu t int hese drinks im feeling sO good rn

oh shit ididnt mean to text that out

i mean i kinda did but im not drunk

can i delete texts?

hello

lol

youk now that vine where like someone pours water on a gril whoses sleeping and she wakes up and shes like “hello”

that’s me rn

hello

shit i think they found the key lmao

ok goodnight

_Message read._

 

 

\--

 

Zhangjing woke up with the absolute worst headache he ever had in his entire life.

He also woke up in his own apartment, and he had a momentary heart attack when he realized he was at Zhengting’s party less than twelve hours ago and had no recollection of most of it. Zhangjing only calmed down when he saw the note resting on his dresser. He stood to get it.

_i drove u home. i hope u don’t remember what u did last night. also, i had to stop nongnong from making u try to do a no-hands cart wheel off of my balcony, so maybe only drink one or two drinks around people u don’t know. be safe boo xx_

_ps, don’t check ur txt messages until uve sobered up_

_zhengting_

Besides the note was a glass of water and two aspirins. Zhengting really was a great friend. Zhangjing looked down—he had someone managed to change Zhangjing into sweats as well, _and_ take off his makeup, judging by his reflection in his dresser mirror.

He took the pills one by one, finishing the whole glass of water before he processed the second part of Zhengting’s note.

_My text messages…?_

Zhangjing’s eyes widened.

_Oh no._

Zhangjing scrambled for his phone, which Zhengting had left in Zhangjing’s bed besides him.

He unlocked his phone, and Zhangjing wanted to die.

Text after text of Zhangjing being an absolute _idiot_ stared back at the senior, laughing at him. As Zhangjing scrolled up to read all of his messages to Yanjun, his face just kept burning hotter and hotter until he was sure he could boil a pot of tea on his forehead.

“I hate myself,” Zhangjing groaned before face planting into his bed, crawling underneath his blankets. He needed to hide from the world, hide from his idiocy.

_Just when Yanjun was beginning to be nice to me._

Zhangjing hadn’t even told anyone about Yanjun calling him cute. Zhengting would overreact, and Justin, Chengcheng, and Linong would just give him shit for it. But maybe he should tell someone about it, Zhengting figured, because every time the words _You’re cute_ and dimples crossed his mind, he was so overwhelmed with his stomach dropping and his chest swelling with nervous joy that it was hard to contain.

 A thought that usually made Zhangjing feel like he was floating now just made him want to cringe into oblivion. No way Lin Yanjun thought that was even a little cute.

A sudden _ding_ from his phone made Zhangjing rise from underneath his covers, peeking his head out to read the notification.

It was from Yanjun.

Zhangjing snatched his phone to unlock it, because honestly, anything was better than being left on read again.

 

**_Chat with yanjun159_ **

**yanjun159**

Are you sober now?

Because we should really work on our project today.

I’ll be over at five.

 

Zhangjing felt his mouth go dry, his heart doing a couple double backflips. He was never sure what Yanjun was playing at, but that this point, he could be on his knees thanking the powers above for things not turning out drastically worse.

 

**_Chat with yanjun159_ **

**azorayeet**

ok

sorry about last night

_Message read._

What else was he going to say?

Zhangjing saw the read receipt, and for some reason waited for a response. He didn’t get one, of course, so he retreated back under the safety of his covers, checking the time on his phone.

Four hours until Yanjun comes over. Four more hours of suffering.

He never even finished carving his pumpkin.

 

\--

 

Yanjun is ten minutes late.

After the five minute mark past five, Zhangjing checks his phone every twenty seconds, making sure that Yanjun did indeed say five o’ clock today, and not six o’ clock today or five o’ clock tomorrow.

He should really be here by now.

When the doorbell rang, Zhangjing scrambled for the door so quickly that he was forever thankful that he lived in an apartment and not someplace with windows were Yanjun could see Zhangjing nearly falling off the couch and tripping over his coffee table.

“Hey,” Zhangjing said a little breathlessly when he opened the door, “I’m really sorry about last night. I was drunk off my ass, and I can’t even remember texting you, and—”

“Can I come in?”

Zhangjing promptly shut his mouth. A few mumbles apologies barely escaped his lips as he stood to the side, letting Yanjun in. Maybe Zhangjing imagines it, but he swears he sees the tiniest smirk on Yanjun’s lips as he makes his way towards Zhangjing’s bedroom.

And so they’re back to the same position: the pair of them at Zhangjing’s desk while hunched over a single laptop.

Yanjun always sat so uncomfortably close, and it was times like these where Zhangjing wished that the younger boy had his own laptop. Then, the sudden thought occurred to him—Yanjun had a car. A _nice_ car. But he can’t afford his own laptop? The school even rents out their own laptops for fifty dollars, if students don’t have their own.

Zhangjing actually paused mid-type to ponder this, staring at the screen.

“Is something wrong?” asked Yanjun. Zhangjing shook his head after a second, continuing to type.

“No, nothing,” he said lightly.

“Here. Let me.”

Zhangjing stopped typing at once, pushing the laptop towards Yanjun. The younger boy slid it closer towards himself, reading over the introduction paragraph that Zhangjing just finished.

“I’ll do the first body paragraph,” Yanjun said after a few seconds, clicking into the other document to review the notes and outline.

_Well, that’s nice._

“… Thanks,” Zhangjing said slowly, not quite sure why he was thanking his own partner for working on their partner project. But it felt appropriate.

“Hey, I’m gonna just sit on my bed for a little, okay? My head is still kind of killing me…” Zhangjing said, watching Yanjun. He didn’t respond, and Zhangjing took this as an okay.

Yanjun was working for quite a while. Thirty minutes, actually. There was something about the furrow in Yanjun’s brow that prevented Zhangjing from daring to speak up; he looked deep in concentration.

At some point, Yanjun seemed to need a break too.

He looked over the first body paragraph, seemingly satisfied. He even edited Zhangjing’s introduction paragraph a little, before turning around to see Zhangjing sitting on his bed crisscross.

Something about the way Zhangjing was sitting made the younger boy smile, but only so lightly that his dimples appeared as mere shadows. And he stood, and began to walk over towards Zhangjing, who was very sure that he never invited Lin Yanjun to come over and sit on his bed.

And then Yanjun sat down on his bed.

“What are you doing.”

Zhangjing tucked his legs up to his chest when Yanjun sat down, the younger boy unresponsive as always. Yanjun was _on_ his bed and moving closer towards Zhangjing.

“Lin Yanjun, what are you doing?” Zhangjing asked, pushing himself away and then suddenly Yanjun was literally crawling towards him, the younger boy looking at Zhangjing with that same intense gaze.

“Lin Yanjun what are you—!” Zhangjing repeated, yelping out when Lin Yanjun reached forward with both hands and grabbed Zhangjing’s ankles, pulling _hard_ until the older boy unraveled himself.

As soon as Zhangjing was lying flat on the bed, Yanjun’s hands immediately grabbed for Zhangjing’s wrists, pinning them down right beside his head.

Lin Yanjun had Zhangjing pinned down underneath him and all the older brunette could do was _squirm_.

_Lin Yanjun is fucking pinning me down._

His mind was complete mush, thoughts colliding in his head as Lin Yanjun studied the smaller boy trapped underneath him, seemingly attempting to memorize every line and curve of his face. Nothing made sense anymore, not with Lin Yanjun. He just walked into his room, sat around and said basically nothing for an hour and now he was trying to assault him and _nothing made any sense anymore._

But Zhangjing also couldn’t deny this. There was no denying the way his heart pounded so violently against his chest; he was sure Yanjun could hear it too. A soft whine escaped Zhangjing’s lips when he felt Yanjun’s fingers tightening around his wrists, Yanjun hovering just inches above the older boy.

Zhangjing had no idea what was going on.

And then Lin Yanjun began to lean in.

Up until that point, Zhangjing had no idea what to say. Up until then, every word Zhangjing spoke to Lin Yanjun was considered and evaluated before he dared utter it, but at that moment, words just happened.

“L-Lin Yanjun don’t you _dare_ take away my first kiss without even asking me first.”

That got him to stop, but only stop. Lin Yanjun paused centimeters away from his face, mulling over his words. Zhangjing watched as Yanjun’s gaze moved from Zhangjing’s own to instead study the smaller boy’s lips, as if he were still thinking about it.

Seconds passed like this, until Yanjun’s lips moved and Zhangjing realized that he was finally _speaking._ “Why are you like this?”

“... What does that mean?” Zhangjing asked, attempting to jerk out of Yanjun’s grasp. The younger easily held him in place, clearly having no intentions on moving.

“Why are you so different?” Yanjun rephrased after a moment’s pause.

Zhangjing’s brows furrowed together in confusion. When Zhangjing struggled to find a response, Lin Yanjun looked back into his eyes. For some reason, that gaze was able to coax a response out of him.

“Lin Yanjun. I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Zhangjing repeated, his words almost coming out as a hiss. “You’re the different one.”

“No. You are,” Lin Yanjun immediately responded, his voice low. “You actually try to talk to me. Why? I just figured it was because you’re like me in some ways.”

Zhangjing blinked, watching Yanjun as he spoke. This was by far the longest amount of time he had spoken for at once, and Zhangjing honestly wanted to hear more. His voice was deep, sultry and alluring, captivating Zhangjing’s attention.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Zhangjing said slowly, “How am I like you even a little?” Yanjun scoffed.

“Where are your parents, Zhangjing?” Yanjun replied easily.

Zhangjing didn’t respond. He ignored the question, licking over his lips.

“… Am I supposed to thank you, then? For finding me special?” Zhangjing asked uncertainly instead, “Can I first ask you why you were about to kiss me?”

“Because I like you. I thought that was obvious,” Yanjun responded in a heartbeat.

His confession fell out of his lips like it was nothing, but Zhangjing’s entire face flushed red. Lin Yanjun admitted _centimeters_ away from his face that he liked him.

Lin Yanjun had emotions.

“You’re really cute, too. I already told you that. You drunk texting me was a clear indication to me that you like me too,” Yanjun continued as Zhangjing was _struggling._

Zhangjing being a drunk dumbass is what led him here.

“I-I! You! Lin Yanjun, you’ve known me for two weeks! And is this really how you act around people you like?” Zhangjing asked, his voice pitched.

“You’re the only person who calls me by my full name. I like it.” Yanjun readjusted his grip on Zhangjing’s wrists, so casual and suave and Zhangjing wanted to hit him for being so carelessly attractive.

“So you pin my on my own bed?!”

Yanjun shrugged his shoulders a little. “I didn’t know what else to do.”

“You take me on a date! You tell me you like me before trying to kiss me, or maybe you actually talk to me about how you feel, first!”

“I’m not good at talking.” Yanjun stated this as if it were an unknown fact that was supposed to solve every question Zhangjing had. “And I did talk to you. I could have done this the first day I met you, but I waited.”

“… What do you mean the first day?” Zhangjing asked feebly.

“I’ve wanted to do this ever since the first day I met you. You were stupid enough to try and put goggles on me and it was cute. You’re cute,” Yanjun replied, his words coming out so casually and planned and Zhangjing was still choking.

“But-! You don’t even know me,” Zhangjing still attempted to reason. He didn’t have to tell Yanjun that he was feeling overwhelmed; he was sure his bright red complexion was doing that for him. “Didn’t, I don’t know, talking to me and asking me out come to mind?”

“Do I have to know people well to want to kiss them? Besides, this usually works.”

“Just trying to kiss people works?” Zhangjing asked. Yanjun didn’t say anything, just continuing to look into Zhangjing’s eyes like he was trying to see inside of them. Maybe it was that specific comment, maybe it was everything leading up to that moment, but Zhangjing was set off.

“So this is how you do things? Climb on top of me and try to kiss me? _Claim_ people for yourself without even knowing them because you think they’re ‘different’?” Zhangjing’s eyes blazed with small fires, his teeth near clenched together. Every word came out as a hiss.

“If I’m so different, then why did you think the same bull you do with everyone else would work on me? Even if you ask me on a date, Lin Yanjun, I’m not going to say yes to such a sorry, manipulative-”

It happened all at once. Lin Yanjun closed the space left in between them and pressed his lips to Zhangjing’s, _hard_. Right when Zhangjing was talking. As if his words didn’t matter at all.

Zhangjing’s eyes went wide with shock, narrowing his eyes and struggling once more to wriggle out from underneath Lin Yanjun.

But he quickly gave in.

Lin Yanjun bit down on Zhangjing’s bottom lip, and it was all over. All fight in Zhangjing died.

All Zhangjing ever did since he met Lin Yanjun was lie to himself.

Zhangjing felt overwhelmed, but also complete, also _special_. Yanjun was nothing but rude to him and Zhangjing was grateful, _fuck_ Yanjun could spit on Zhangjing and he would thank him.

Yanjun kissed him deeply, moving past Zhangjing’s closed lips and pushing them apart with his tongue. The taller was experienced, and Zhangjing hardly knew how to respond, attempting to move his lips against Yanjun’s but it was _hard_.

It was hard because every thought in Zhangjing’s mind was colored with traces of vanilla and musk. Every shiver down Zhangjing’s spine, every movement was colored with Lin Yanjun’s name; his body was willing to dedicate itself to this boy just for these few minutes.

The same boy who he met two weeks ago, the same boy who Zhangjing demanded not to _dare_ kiss him just two minutes ago.

Zhangjing was weak and he was whipped, but with the way Yanjun’s lips molded against Zhangjing’s, it was all entirely worth it.

Yanjun suddenly pulled back, leaving Zhangjing to gasp for breath, and Yanjun began to move down his neck. Zhangjing turned his face to the side to allow Yanjun more room, never having felt this _needy_ in his entire life.

Zhangjing bit down on his bottom lip to prevent any noises from escaping, because Yanjun wasn’t just kissing his neck. Zhangjing couldn’t hide his small gasp when Yanjun began to suck harshly against his neck, as if he were very determined to mark him. Zhangjing wondered if he wanted to mark him as proof of Yanjun being here, or maybe to add him to a growing collection. He didn’t really care at the moment.

Yanjun pulled back, and Zhangjing looked up at him. Their eyes met for less than a second before Yanjun’s lip were against Zhangjing’s again.

Small, uncontrollable whines escaped Zhangjing’s lips as Yanjun kissed him, his kiss growing softer, fonder, maybe because the of the way Zhangjing reacted to his touch.

And then Zhangjing was confused.

Zhangjing figured that Yanjun just didn’t _care_. Zhangjing figured that he didn’t care that he didn’t know Zhangjing hardly at all, he didn’t care that he was being harsh on someone so inexperienced. Hell, Yanjun seemed to be _enjoying_ that part.

But the way Yanjun adjusted to him made Zhangjing realize that Yanjun was only now just considering Zhangjing. For some reason, the thought brought Zhangjing to open his eyes.

“Mm—stop,” Zhangjing managed out, turning his face away in an attempt to get his words out. And Yanjun did, after a few seconds, and after placing a final kiss to the corner of Zhangjing’s lips, as the older boy had now turned his face to the side. Zhangjing was tempted to smile at the small gesture.

“You’re out of breath,” Yanjun observed, looking rather pleased with this fact. And then he smiled again, for the first time ever since that time in the library. Deep dimples indented his cheeks, the smile brighter and wider than before.

The smile felt like a stranger to Zhangjing. Like it didn’t belong on his face.

“Lin Yanjun…” Zhangjing murmured lowly, looking up at Yanjun. The younger boy looked back down at him, anticipating.

“Get off,” Zhangjing said.

Yanjun got off. Zhangjing sat up, pushing himself towards the headboard of his bed and tucking his knees to his chest once more.

Yanjun didn’t move from his spot, a good couple feet of space in between them. Lin Yanjun was just on top of Zhangjing, yet he had never felt more painfully awkward being around him than he did right now.  

“… How come you’re talking all of a sudden?” Zhangjing asked slowly. Yanjun furrowed his brow, looking mildly offended.

“I just kissed you, and that’s the first thing you say?”

Yanjun moved himself closer to Zhangjing, who promptly tried to push himself closer against his headboard.

“Your first kiss, right?” Yanjun asked lowly, looking at his lips again. Zhangjing immediately covered his mouth with his hand.

“Don’t you dare,” Zhangjing said lowly, and Yanjun just snorted in response.

“That’s exactly what you said to me ten minutes ago.”

“Lin Yanjun, what do you want me to say?” Zhangjing asked, lowering his hand so his voice could carry better, “How do you want me to react? How _am_ I supposed to react after someone who rarely talks to me and acts just so weirdly around me kisses me?”

“It’s not that I don’t talk to you,” Yanjun said, “I just don’t like talking in general.”

“So you’re talking _now_? It feels like I unlocked a feature in a video game,” Zhangjing said, narrowing his eyes a bit at Yanjun.

But he didn’t respond, this time. Yanjun instead moved closer again, reaching forward and grabbing Zhangjing’s wrist with his hand yet again.

“Don’t you get tired of grabbing me like that?” Zhangjing asked quickly, but before Yanjun responded he was already being pulled towards the younger boy.

“No, not really…” Yanjun murmured, once again entirely too close to Zhangjing’s face. His face flushed bright pink at once, unable to find a response to this.

_Lin Yanjun._

Yanjun kept him like this for so long that Zhangjing had let his eyes fall shut. The moment they did, Zhangjing could hear Yanjun laugh gently.

He let go of his wrist and stood up.

“I have to go,” Yanjun announced. Zhangjing opened his eyes slowly, just looking at Yanjun in confusion.

“I’ll text you,” he said, smirking a little when Zhangjing just stared at him, blinking slowly.

And then he went to _leave_ , the fucker was _leaving._

“Also,” Yanjun said, turning around in the doorway, and Zhangjing immediately looked to him, and he hated himself for it.

Yanjun pointed to his neck, diagonally underneath his left ear. Zhangjing reached his hand up to the bruise on his neck, blushing again. Yanjun’s smirk deepened.

“Don’t use makeup to cover it… I like how that looks on you.”

Then he left.

Zhangjing just sat there in shock for a couple minutes, hand still against the love bite on his neck.

He sat there for a while.

 

\--

 

Zhangjing didn’t tell anyone.

He almost told Zhengting, really. But some part of him was embarrassed. He felt pathetic. A boy just straight up kissed him and then left, and Zhangjing didn’t do anything at all.

Bells. Zhangjing had always imagined that bells would go off in his head when he had his first kiss. He imagined euphoria, a gentle wave of euphoria to captivate his senses, and he imagined simply melting against the person against him.

Zhangjing didn’t expect to give in. He didn’t expect submission, he didn’t expect what he did. Zhangjing was needy and desperate and so willing to give in.

Yanjun did end up texting Zhangjing that weekend. And while Zhangjing had immediately opened the text, a simple _Hey,_ he couldn’t find it in him to respond. All he could think about was that he waited hours for a stupid text, and that he couldn’t even hang around for three minutes after kissing him.

So, Zhangjing took a leaf from Yanjun’s stupid book of being a jerk, and left him on read.

And Zhangjing really, really was planning on ignoring Yanjun the whole entire day Monday. If Yanjun wanted to talk to him that badly, _he_ was going to come to _Zhangjing_. He needed to prove that, despite his behavior during the kiss, he was not needy.

But things didn’t really work out that way.

“Get in your lab groups, everybody. We’re starting our lab today,” announced Mr. Tsai in the beginning of class.

He had already endured Linong and Zhengting’s recalling of Zhangjing’s drunken incidents the first five minutes of the class, and now he had to somehow completely ignore Yanjun as he was sitting right next to him? He wasn’t sure how he was going to do that.

He solved things by racing to the back of the classroom and depositing his butt into Ziyi’s seat.

“Hey, that’s my seat,” Ziyi said jokingly as he took Zhangjing’s usual stool instead. Zhangjing smiled weakly, shrugging.

“Sorry. Felt like a change of seat.” Zhangjing’s eyes scanned the room. It wasn’t unusual for Yanjun to be late, but part of Zhangjing wondered if Yanjun would show up at all.

Ziyi seemed to notice him looking for their third partner. “Well, we should still get started by ourselves. Even though I doubt this will take long…” Ziyi glanced over the lab, titled “Electrolysis of Water.”

It was ten past the bell, and Yanjun was usually here by now. Zhangjing kind of hoped he wouldn’t show up. Yanjun had instructed Zhangjing to not put makeup over the huge hickey he had left on his neck, but Yanjun never said anything about clothes. Zhangjing just so happened to be wearing a dark green turtle neck sweater that day.

“We should be able to knock the lab and the questions out all in this block,” Ziyi smiled, bringing Zhangjing back to reality. Zhangjing snapped his gaze back up to look at Ziyi, nodding.

Ziyi furrowed his brows together.

“Are you still a little messed up from Friday? You seem out of it,” Ziyi said, seeming concerned.

“… It’s nothing. Really, I’m fine,” Zhangjing smiled. “Let’s just get started on the lab… Step one, place bottom half of a petri dish on a white sheet of paper… I guess that’s so we can better see whatever reaction will happen?”

Ziyi didn’t look convinced at all by Zhangjing’s words, but he continued anyways. “Uh, yeah. I’ll go get the sodium sulfate solution.”

Ziyi was right; the lab and analysis questions were able to be finished in all of an hour. They even got a head-start on doing the lab. Throughout the block, however, Ziyi just seemed a little off. His usual chirpy-self kept side-glancing at Zhangjing, obviously concerned. Maybe it was because Zhangjing kept giving side-glances to the door, never completely focused on the lab.

“Hey, Zhangjing,” Ziyi said from behind Zhangjing as he left the classroom with Zhengting and Linong, “Can I talk to you for a second? It’ll only be for a little.”

“… You guys go ahead,” Zhangjing said to Linong and Zhengting, turning to Ziyi before he could see the mocking looks on their faces.

Actually, Zhangjing had been doing that a lot recently: turning his back on his friends. Everything that was going on with Yanjun, he just kept it to himself. He was practically lying to the same people who supported and loved him endlessly. The thought filled Zhangjing’s stomach with guilt.

“Zhangjing?”

He glanced up to see Ziyi looking down at him, worry etched into every feature of his face. “Are you okay? You seem really out of it.”

“Yeah, I’m… I’m fine,” Zhangjing said slowly, hesitating when it was clear that Ziyi wasn’t believing a second of it.

“Well, did you take my advice? About what I told you on Wednesday.”

“About dressing cutely to the Halloween party? I thought you said I did that fine,” Zhangjing asked, completely confused.

“No,” Ziyi said, smiling a little, “No. I meant about Lin Yanjun. Because you seemed a little… worried that he wasn’t here in class today.”

“I’m not worried,” Zhangjing said quickly, a little too quickly, “I just. He was over at my place to do English on Sunday and he left a little early and I wanted to say something to him.”

This all came out very quickly and very awkwardly, and it was quite clear that Ziyi either didn’t believe him or he knew very well that there was more to the story than just that.

At that moment, Ziyi broke eye contact with Zhangjing, and instead, his eyes lingered on the neck of his turtleneck sweater.

Immediately, Zhangjing pulled up the neck of his sweater, panicking when he felt that the mark, or at least some of it, wasn’t covered up. “I’m sorry for not being focused. You know that I can be like this on Mondays.”

Zhangjing looked at the clock on the hallway wall; even though only a minute had passed, he just had to end this conversation. “I’m sorry, I should really be going. I’m going to be late. I’ll text you later about the lab.”

Zhangjing turned to leave, but the moment he did, he felt Ziyi grab onto his hand. Not his shoulder, or his wrist, but his hand.

Of course, Zhangjing turned around, looking down at his hand that was currently in Ziyi’s, then back at the junior. Ziyi’s face looked strangely empty without his usual warm smile.

“Just promise me you’ll be alright, okay? I almost called you on Saturday after you drank that much,” Ziyi said. And then his smile was back, as if it were an attempt to get Zhangjing smile as well. He squeezed the smaller boy’s hand.

Zhangjing grinned a little, nodding his head in promise.

Then, behind Ziyi, Zhangjing saw him. Lin Yanjun, standing quite a ways down the hallway, but he could still very clearly see him and Ziyi.

Yanjun wasn’t looking at Zhangjing. He was looking at their hands.

Zhangjing pulled his hand back at once, trying to force a smile, trying to pretend that he didn’t want to march right over to Lin Yanjun right that second.

“I promise,” Zhangjing said. When he looked back at Yanjun, he had already turned and was walking in the opposite direction, turning the corner. Zhangjing’s stomach sunk.

“I’ll see you,” he managed out quickly, turning to leave before Ziyi had a chance to notice that Zhangjing was staring at something behind him. Zhangjing immediately took out his phone from his pocket, suddenly heavily regretting ignoring him. Of course Yanjun wasn’t going to show up in class after Zhangjing ignored him like that.

But before Zhangjing could even type a single letter, Yanjun sent another text. It caught Zhangjing so off guard that he almost stopped in his step.

 

**_Chat with yanjun159_ **

**yanjun169**

You can’t avoid me forever. 


	5. anxiety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> zhangjing loves overthinking just about absolutely everything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wOw IM sO SORRY
> 
> im alive so yeah college is hard but hey its summer now so basically im back for three months if anyone is even still around? idk ig we’ll find out
> 
> also fyi this is literally the SECOND day of summer for me. as soon as i got home i rubbed my grubby little hands together and speed typed this all out bc i missed writing this yall
> 
> also i learned in my creative writing class that i have a very, very bad habit of changing tenses every other paragraph so sorry i’ll try to fix that lol
> 
> also sorry this chapter is kinda short, i really just wanted to get something out to yall after so long, aHAHAHAHAHA im so sorry ahaHA I SUCK everythings fine its fine
> 
> thank you guys for being patient, and as always thank you for your kudos, comments, but mostly thank you for reading :)))

 

Zhangjing wanted to laugh when he saw Yanjun’s text.

Well, Zhangjing wanted to do a lot of things, actually. He wanted to type back a furious response, thumbs beating away at his phone screen. He wanted to run back down the hallway and go talk to Yanjun and ask why he was being stupid.

But he didn’t do any of those things. He turned his phone off for the rest of that day and went about his life as normal.

If Yanjun was going to walk into his room, kiss him, and then walk out, then Yanjun could try a little harder then sending a cute little text.

Zhangjing wasn’t entirely surprised to see that Yanjun wasn’t in English, which made his life considerably easier. He would— _should_ be able to focus on his practice essay just fine.

And if Yanjun wasn’t there, then he couldn’t be coming over after school.

Zhangjing tried really, _really_ hard to convince himself that this was a good thing. And he knew on the inside that it probably was, and that he really shouldn’t be as sad as he was at the fact that he didn’t see him today.

 _Yanjun doesn’t deserve that. He doesn’t_ , was all Zhangjing could think of, and it was really hard to focus on the prompt when his every single thought was laced with Yanjun’s name. It was even harder when these thoughts were literally fighting for dominance in his head.

Zhangjing turned his essay in quickly at the end of class, booking it right out of there before Ms. Choi had a chance to be disappointed in his writing that day.

 _I’ll just go home and be emo in my room all day,_ Zhangjing thought to himself as he put his things away at his locker.

“Hey Zhangjing!”

Or, or he could suffer.

Zhangjing turned to see Zhengting and Linong, standing shoulder to shoulder and looking down at the shorter senior. Zhangjing gave them a shitty, unconvincing smile.

“Hey guys, I’m gonna miss the bus so I gotta—”

“You Zhangjing, did you forget that I’m in your English class?” Zhengting asked, shutting his locker door for him. Zhengting casually slung his arm around Zhangjing’s shoulders, beginning to walk in the opposite direction of the front exit where the buses were. “You barely looked at me in class.”

“Did you also forget that we’re in your Chem class?” Linong added, “You were totally just not there today this morning.”

“I’m sorry,” Zhangjing said quickly, “It’s just, application deadlines are coming up, and I—”

“They’re a month and three weeks away, Zhangjing, and you aren’t even applying early decision anywhere,” Zhengting interjected, “But since you’ve been working just _so_ hard on your college applications we thought that we should take you out to a café.”

“Yeah, just to have a break! And just to talk,” Linong grinned.

“About what’s been going on,” Zhengting added.

“Maybe about a certain thing.”

“A certain someone.”

“Okay! Stop being weird,” Zhangjing caved, “I’m sorry, okay? I know I haven’t been keeping you guys… updated recently.”

Zhengting sighed, rolling his eyes a bit as he pushed open the door leading to the student parking lot. “I knew the moment that you didn’t clap back at us in Chemistry for roasting your drunk ass that some serious shit had gone down.”

“You better tell us everything,” Linong hummed.

“Everything…?” Zhangjing mumbled, “I don’t know, I’m still processing a lot of things myself.”

Zhangjing told them everything.

The moment Zhengting and Linong sat Zhangjing across the table from them at the café, it all just came out. From what Xingjie told him about Yanjun to the kiss and then the text. He didn’t realize it, but Zhangjing really suffered from keeping all of that to himself. Honestly, it felt good. Getting that all off his chest felt a lot better than he imagined it feeling.

Linong was very expressive throughout—when Zhangjing told them about the kiss, he slapped both hands over his mouth in pure shock. Zhengting was more relaxed, however. He watched Zhangjing carefully the whole seven minutes of his tale, chin rested on his hands.

Zhangjing finished, and there were a few seconds of silence before Zhengting spoke up.

“Why is this kid such a fucking try-hard emo?”

Zhangjing, in the process of taking a sip of his drink, nearly inhaled his coffee.

“No, really!” Zhengting said as Linong laughed, hand over his mouth, “Really. This kid is the epitome of the tragic hero, asshole Korean drama leads. What a trope. You too, you know. You’re a trope, Zhangjing. You’re the classic good boy with perfect grades—I mean, _good_ grades—”

Zhengting paused for half a second and then rephrased. “You’re the classic good boy who tries really hard in school.”

“Fuck you.”

“Point is! You’re good. But you were way, _way_ too obsessed with school, Zhangjing. While it’s a bit ironic that Lin Yanjun has a thing for you, it kind of makes sense. Opposites attract, right?”

“I just think it’s really exciting,” Linong said with a cheeky smile, “Everything is so boring at school, and then finally something is happening.” Zhangjing stuck his tongue out at him.

“I’m glad to be a source of entertainment.”

“Literally the only way this could be any more iconic is if we had a love triangle,” Zhengting said, picking up his cup or earl grey tea and sipping, looking at Zhangjing very expectantly.

For some reason, Zhangjing thought of Ziyi and what had happened just earlier that morning. But he immediately shut that down. That was just Ziyi being a caring friend as always.

Sure, Ziyi had never held his hand before, but he was a _friend_.

So Zhangjing didn’t even mention it, no matter how much Zhengting stared at him. Zhangjing cleared his throat a bit awkwardly, smiling a tiny bit at Linong instead.

“Well that’s about it for me. How are things going for you?”

Linong began to talk about his European history class, requesting advice from both Zhengting and Zhangjing on how to deal with the teacher. Throughout the rest of their time at the café, and even as Zhengting drove the two of them back to their homes, Zhangjing just felt like Zhengting was giving him sideways glances.

It bothered Zhangjing. It shouldn’t have, he told himself as he finally returned to his apartment, because Zhangjing wasn’t being dishonest about _anything_.

It took Zhangjing another five minutes for the guilt to settle in.

 

\--

 

**_Group Chat: “*cries in Taiwanese*”_ **

**_azorayeet changed Group Chat name to: “i hate boys”_ **

 

**pigzhengting**

this should be fun

 

**iBlowBubbles**

lmao wat

 

**azorayeet**

forgive me for i have sinned

 

**Bubbles**

you’re gross

I don’t want to know whatever gross thing you did

 

**azorayeet**

wtf is wrong with you

im not zhengting

 

**pigzhengting**

wow rude

spit it out u loser

**NongNongSoup**

Does this have anything to do with Yanjun?

 

**iBlowBubbles**

um obviously

 

**azorayeet**

no

 

**iBlowBubbles**

oshit

wat tf lmao

 

**NongNongSoup**

:O

Omg!

 

**pigzhengting**

spit it out you zhangjing

 

**azorayeet**

i don’t have anything to confess

i just have a question

 

**Bubbles**

I don’t know why you’d say you sinned if you don’t have anything to confess

but oKaY

 

**NongNongSoup**

What is it?

 

**azorayeet**

does wang ziyi like me?

 

**iBlowBubbles**

…………………

 

**Bubbles**

…

 

**NongNongSoup**

Um…

 

**pigzhengting**

inhALE

 

**iBlowBubbles**

here we go

 

**pigzhengting**

U 👏

HAVE 👏

GOT 👏

TO 👏

BE 👏

KIDDING 👏

ME 👏

**azorayeet**

I KNOW OKAY

i said i sinned bc i lied to zhengting and linong at the café

well i just left some things out

**pigzhengting**

mhm

a mother always knows

everyone clear ur schedules

we have to talk

in negative two seconds

 

**iBlowBubbles**

wat

 

**_pigzhengting started a Group Call_ **

**_iBlowBubbles joined Group Call_ **

**_Bubbles joined Group Call_ **

**_NongNongSoup joined Group Call_ **

 

**pigzhengting**

you zhangjing if u don’t pick up ur god damned phone i will confiscate ur phone and u know i am not even kidding

pick up zhangjing

pick up or im never driving u to taco bell ever again

 

**_azorayeet joined Group Call_ **

 

\--

 

Zhangjing got his ass handed to him. His days of denial were over.

Given the pieces of evidence that all of his friends seemingly had mentally documented, Wang Ziyi almost most certainly liked You Zhangjing. And not in the way Zhangjing had always insisted he did.

Ziyi _liked_ him.

Maybe there was a small bit of Zhangjing that had understood that Ziyi liked him for some time now. But Ziyi continued to treat Zhangjing as a friend, so it wasn’t really ever worth thinking about.

But then Ziyi held his hand, and according to Zhengting, that changed _everything_.

Zhangjing had a mission, now. Zhangjing was to set Ziyi up in a position where if the other wanted to, he could easily and casually ask Zhangjing out to eat. The idea was proposed as a joke by Linong, and of course Zhengting thought it was brilliant.

And Zhangjing was going to ask that on Thursday. Not too far away from the weekend, but not right before as to make the plans seemed rushed or last minute.

But Zhangjing had to get through Tuesday and Wednesday, first. Especially since Wednesday was one of their research days.

Except Yanjun wasn’t in class either Tuesday or Wednesday. For some reason, when Thursday came around, Zhangjing was actually really hoping that Yanjun would show up. Not because he just wanted to see him—he was still ignoring that part of his brain that wanted to talk to him all the time—but because if Yanjun was there during Chemistry, Zhangjing could say that he felt awkward going through with the plan with him there and just not do it.

But Yanjun was a no show. And as such, Zhengting and Linong shot Zhangjing and Ziyi very expecting looks the first fifteen minutes of lab. And so, Zhangjing was left with no choice.  

“Do you have any plans for the weekend?” Zhangjing asked extremely casually, sparing a glance up from his AP review packet. Ziyi kept his gaze on his own packet, pushing his lips outward as he shook his head.

“Nope.” Ziyi circled an answer on his packet. “Did you get B for question seven?”

 _I’m only on question two what the hell_ “Uh, yeah. I did.” Zhangjing took a short breath before swallowing every ounce of pride he had. “I don’t have plans either.”

“Huh. Two free birds, how about that?” Ziyi said with a little smile, “Anyways. What’s the symbol for tungsten, again?”

Zhangjing’s stomach twisted painfully, his entire body nearly convulsing with overwhelming cringe.

He made a point not to look over at Zhengting and Linong for the rest of class.

“I hate you both,” Zhangjing hissed to Zhengting and Linong the second they stepped out of the classroom. Zhengting sighed, Linong pursing his lips together.

“Why this time?” Zhengting asked.

“Because it didn’t work, and now it looks like I desperately want to go out with him or something. I feel so stupid,” Zhangjing grumbled, “God…”

“But you do want to go out with him,” Linong reasoned, stopping at his locker and opening it. Zhangjing was tempted to smash his face against the wall of lockers.

“Um? This is literally all your idea,” Zhangjing said.

“So maybe you don’t _want_ to go out with Ziyi,” Zhengting reasoned, “But you don’t _not_ want to go out with him. And since you finally noticed that he likes you, I figured it’d be beneficial to go out on a date and decide if you like him.”

“What happened to setting me up with Yanjun?” Zhangjing muttered underneath his breath, maybe just a little annoyed at this point that he still hadn’t showed up to school.

“He hasn’t shown up for two days and I got bored. Hurry up, the bell’s gonna ring in two minutes— _kidding_!” Zhengting yelped when Zhangjing aimed a punch at him.

“Zhangjing?”

Zhangjing spun around to see Ziyi walking up to them, stopping before Zhangjing, smiling his usual smile. How was this man always smiling?

“Linong, come on, we’re going to be late,” Zhengting suddenly said very loudly, grabbing the sophomore’s upper arm and pulling him away.

Zhangjing didn’t have to turn back to look at Zhengting and Linong to know that they were both winking obnoxiously at him.

“You have weird friends,” Ziyi commented, leaning against the lockers as he grinned down at Zhangjing. “I’m kidding.”

“No, I one hundred percent agree,” Zhangjing muttered, “Anyways.” _Please let me die now_   “What’s up?”

“Well, I have a confession.” Ziyi said with a sheepish smile. He reached up to rub the back of his neck, almost as if—almost as if he were _nervous_.

Zhangjing blinked up at him.

“I lied.” Ziyi sighed a little. “I know what the symbol for tungsten is.”

Ziyi laughed when Zhangjing rolled his eyes. “No, really. I _did_ lie about not having plans. I do, but I wasn’t sure how to tell you about them without it coming off as rude.”

“Aha,” Zhangjing feigned a laugh, wanting to melt into the very ground he was standing on, “Yeah, don’t worry about it, I was just curious—”

“Hey, just let me finish,” Ziyi smiled, “I do have plans. And I want you to come with. But I didn’t want it to come off weird.”

Zhangjing thought about this. This… this was something, yeah? And it certainly made Zhangjing want to snap his own neck a little less.

“Oh,” Zhangjing said in a light tone, “Uh, what are your plans, then?”

“Me and two other people are going out to see a movie and then going to hot pot afterwards,” Ziyi said, saying the words _hot pot_ with a tiny bit of emphasis and watching Zhangjing’s face.

“Really? Hot pot?” Zhangjing said, because dammit, even without Linong and Zhengting’s stupid plan, he would _gladly_ tag along with just about anyone to get some hot pot.

“And you _are_ free, right?” Ziyi said with a sideways grin, “It’ll be my treat.”

Zhangjing gripped the straps of his backpack a little tighter, before letting a slow smile spread over his lips.

“Yeah. I’m free.”

 

\--

 

Zhangjing wasn’t going to lie.

He was definitely, at the very least, mildly pleased that he had landed this outing with Ziyi. It definitely wasn’t that he _liked_ Ziyi.

Well, that’s what he told himself. Zhangjing just kept thinking about it for the rest of the day. That night when he was trying to sleep, all he could do was stare up at the ceiling in his bed and wonder why in the hell he was actually kind of excited for this outing.

“I don’t like him. I don’t think I do,” Zhangjing said out loud to himself quietly. “I still like…”

Yanjun. He still likes Yanjun. He knows he does. Even if Yanjun doesn’t really show that he likes Zhangjing at all.

And that’s when Zhangjing realizes.

Ziyi asked Zhangjing to go out with him and friends. Ziyi complimented Zhangjing. Ziyi was generally a nice person around Zhangjing. In principle, he was kind of the opposite of Yanjun. But Zhangjing wasn’t excited because Ziyi was different than Yanjun, no, he was excited because for once, he gets to hang out with someone who actually _wants_ to be with Zhangjing.

With Yanjun, Zhangjing felt like he was constantly under his watch. He was constantly hyper-aware of everything he said and everything he did, scared of making a wrong move. And walking out after kissing him wasn’t doing wonders for convincing Zhangjing that Yanjun actually liked him.

Zhangjing was excited to feel wanted for once.

And the realization was only a little bit sad.

 

\--

 

Zhangjing walked into his English class on Friday, and there he was.

Lin Yanjun.

Just _sitting there._

He wasn’t in Chemistry earlier that day, no, but there he was. Immediately, every drop of blood in Zhangjing just rushed to his head, his face, leaving his legs weak and nearly caving in his knees.

But then he remembered how he and Ziyi had finalized their weekend plans in Chemistry, and how genuinely excited he and his friends were for him during lunch. He also remembered how stupid and dumb he felt after Yanjun kissed him and left, and how even more stupid and dumb he felt after Yanjun sent him that stupid text.

Zhangjing glances at Yanjun, then immediately looks away, refusing to spare another look in his direction as he sits in his seat in front of him.

The smell of vanilla and musk hits him so suddenly that Zhangjing is almost tempted to say something. But Yanjun doesn’t say a single damn thing.

So neither does Zhangjing.

Zhengting walks in a minute later, eyes bulging out his skull so hard when he sees Yanjun that Zhangjing wondered if the pressure in the classroom had gone up by some hundred pascals.

The second Zhengting sits down, Zhangjing’s phone starts going off like crazy. But he just turns it off, keeping his head down and getting out his stupid AP review packet.

Zhangjing finds it especially hard to focus on the stupid poem in front of him the remainder of the class, when he could _feel_ Zhengting turning back in his seat to glare at Zhangjing, and when he could _feel_ the swirls of vanilla and musk surrounding him in his very seat, and when he could _feel_ his heart pounding so viciously in his chest that his ribcage shook.

Two minutes before the bell rings, Zhangjing begins to pack up his stuff. He usually doesn’t do this, but he feels like he needs to get out of this classroom as quickly as possible.

What he really wanted, though, was to stay right there in his seat, waiting and praying for Yanjun to talk to him first. Knowing that was what he truly wanted made him mad at himself, and as punishment, he was forcing himself to leave before that could happen.

Except the weirdo _followed_ him.

Well, not exactly. Zhangjing raced out of the door the second the bell rang and rushed straight to his locker. Right as he was finishing up shoving various papers and notebooks into his bookbag, Zhangjing sees Yanjun out of the corner of his eye, walking down the hallway.

Walking straight towards Zhangjing.

Immediately, he fumbles for his bookbag zipper, struggling to zip his bag shut and close his locker at the same time. But he was too slow.

“Zhangjing.”

“Go away,” Zhangjing mutters in response. Yanjun stops beside Zhangjing, hands in the pockets of his stupid leather jacket.

“What did you say?” Yanjun asks. His voice is cutting, demanding, and _fuck_ Zhangjing missed it.

“I said go away,” Zhangjing snaps, finally turning his head to look him directly in the eye. “I have every right to ignore you, you know that? So if you’re going to keep sending me your weird passive aggressive texts, go ahead.”

Zhangjing closes his locker door and zips up his stupid bookbag, and he’s about to sling it over his shoulder and storm away before Yanjun steps forward, closing the foot of space between them. And so, Zhangjing freezes involuntarily.

“I’m sorry.”

“You’re—what?”

Zhangjing is so shocked that he looks up at him. Lin Yanjun looked as stoic and emotionless as ever, but Zhangjing feels like he can see a tiny bit of genuine guilt in his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Yanjun repeats. He pauses awkwardly before he continues. “For… you know.”

“For what?”

“You know,” Yanjun repeats again, “For everything.”

“I want to hear you say what you’re sorry for, Lin Yanjun,” Zhangjing says, slowly putting on his backpack.

Yanjun was silent. From his expression, Zhangjing figures that he’s struggling with what to say.

“Fine. I’ll talk,” Zhangjing sighs. “Do you have any idea how I’ve been feeling this past week, Yanjun? How weird this all is? How confused and lost I feel?”

“Why? Just because I kissed you?” Yanjun asks slowly, and Zhangjing wants to laugh in his face.

“Yes, Yanjun. Exactly that. You don’t speak to me, act like you hardly tolerate me, and then you kiss me. And then you go back to acting the exact same way you did before. By not caring and not trying and not being present.”

“You’re the one who ignored my text.”

“Have you ever considered that I’m ignoring you because I’m trying to figure everything out?” Zhangjing asked. “I’m confused, Yanjun. You confuse me.”

“I like you. And you like me, I know you do. What’s the problem?” Yanjun asked, narrowing his eyes a little bit, “Why are you confused?”

“Because this isn’t how it’s supposed to go,” Zhangjing responds, “You don’t get to kiss me out of nowhere and decide that we’re together afterward. You don’t get to take advantage of the fact that I like you and then move on that because you know I won’t react negatively to you making a move. That isn’t how this works.”

Yanjun has nothing to say in response. And for some reason, Yanjun saying nothing instead of saying something else that was stupid just makes Zhangjing even angrier.

“If you really like me, then you have to show it in ways that isn’t randomly kissing me. Right now I think you’re only sorry because I’m not responding the way you want,” Zhangjing continues.

“… Maybe I just don’t know how to put it,” Yanjun says back in response, “You never even told me what there is to be confused about.”

“Because I know you aren’t good for me, Yanjun. Not the way you are now. Not with the way you’ve acted,” Zhangjing says. He pauses before continuing.

“It’s confusing because such a huge part of me doesn’t care at all about all of that,” Zhangjing finishes quietly. Yanjun furrows his eyebrows, just a little bit.

But he still doesn’t say anything. Of course he doesn’t.

“I have to go,” Zhangjing says quietly.

Yanjun doesn’t say anything as Zhangjing turns to leave, and Zhangjing absolutely hates the fact that he wishes Yanjun did.

He spends the entire walk home thinking about that conversation.

 

\--

 

Zhangjing was nervous all of Saturday morning and afternoon.

Luckily, Zhangjing nervousness of the upcoming events kept his mind off of Lin Yanjun the night before and this morning. Yes, Yanjun was infuriating and confusing and annoying heart aching, but Zhangjing could momentarily forget about all of that by stressing over what to wear.

The only thing that really calmed Zhangjing to the core was that there would be two whole other people with them, and that it was literally impossible for this to be a date. So Zhangjing just kept telling himself that over and over again.

Ziyi had texted Zhangjing details the night before. He would pick Zhangjing up from his apartment around four and they would meet Youlin and Dinghao outside the movie theater. By three-thirty, Zhangjing was dressed up in his collared sweater and jeans, waiting.

He’s planning to lie down on his couch and watch videos to distract himself until he gets a text.

Zhangjing immediately sighs when he sees who it’s from. And he begins to type his response.

 

\--

 

**_Chat with pigzhengting_ **

 

**pigzhengting**

hey bitch

how u doin

r u ready

ahahaha ofc u r ur already dressed up rnt u

 

**azorayeet**

i really really hate you

**pigzhengting**

i just want to tell u good luck

and that i hope it goes well

 

**azorayeet**

why because you want me to be emotionally confused and end up in a real love triangle

 

**pigzhengting**

omg no

im shocked and hurt that ud think that

im crying now

 

**azorayeet**

shut up

 

**pigzhengting**

lol

no bc i want u to actually have a good time idiot

i dont want u to always feel like im parading u around for my own entertainment

i got rlly excited for u when boys finally started noticing ur hot ass so i got a little carried away

but i do genuinely think that wang ziyi is a good guy

even tho it’s not technically a date

i still hope u have fun w him tonight

 

**azorayeet**

…

thank you zhengting

that means a lot.

 

**pigzhengting**

lin yanjun still a fuckin snack tho

 

**azorayeet**

aaaaand he’s back everyone

 

**pigzhengting**

lmao u know it

 

**azorayeet**

ah he rang the doorbell

he’s here

ahhHHH

**pigzhengting**

go idiot

and have fun

:)

ly

 

**azorayeet**

ew

but me too

 

\--

 

 

The car ride isn’t even awkward.

It’s not like Zhangjing expected it to be, but he hasn’t ever really hung out with Ziyi like this before. Yes, Zhangjing went over to his place all the time, but that was always for chemistry. This was the first non-school-related thing they’ve ever done together.

But the entire way to the movie theaters, they’re talking and joking like normal. Zhangjing basically forgets all his nervousness, which is nice.

His anxiety kicks in a little, tiny bit when him and Ziyi approach the front entrance to the movie theater. Youlin and Dinghao wave at them, and Zhangjing nervously waves back. Zhangjing knows them from school, but hasn’t really ever said more than _hi_ to either of them. All he really knows about them is that they’re childhood friends with Ziyi.

“Hey Zhangjing!” Youlin grins as Ziyi and Zhangjing approach them, “I like your shirt.”

“Thanks,” Zhangjing smiled.

“You both look really nice. How cute,” Youlin comments. Is Zhangjing imagining it, or does Dinghao give Youlin a bit of a look at that comment?

 “Hey, Dinghao,” Zhangjing grins, deciding to ignore it. His nerves were just in overdrive again.

“Sup.” Dinghao nods, turning to Ziyi. “You already got the tickets, right?”

“Yup! Four seats, smack in the middle. And you stop that,” Ziyi says when Dinghao begins to take out his wallet, “It’s on me.”

With this, Zhangjing feels even more relieved. Ziyi wasn’t treating just Zhangjing, but all of them. It totally wasn’t a date.

“Wow, it’s like we’re all on a double date,” Youlin smiles.

Zhangjing laughs only a little awkwardly.

Dinghao smacks Youlin’s shoulder, making a face. “Why do you make it your mission to make people you don’t know to feel as awkward around you as possible?” Dinghao asks, and Zhangjing laughs again, shaking his head.

“No, it’s okay,” Zhangjing reassures him. He can take a joke, usually. Youlin and Dinghao both look at Ziyi at the same time, and immediately Zhangjing questions his response. Was there something Zhangjing said, or didn’t know?

“Sorry, anyways. I apologize for my stupid boyfriend,” Dinghao continues.

Zhangjing blinks. _Huh?_

“You know, you make it hard for people to believe we’re together by bullying me,” Youlin hums. Dinghao rolls his eyes, and then he laces his fingers together with Youlin’s, and only then do things make sense to Zhangjing.

Dinghao and Youlin are dating; they’re a couple.

They’re very close friends with Ziyi, so they most likely know however Ziyi feels towards Zhangjing.

They’re acting a little too cautiously around Zhangjing.

_Yeah, this kind of does feel like a double date now._

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!!! :))
> 
> twitter: @nongnongsoup


End file.
